Ad-meliora-tendo - I Strive To Higher Things

omg i’m crying i can’t believe i found some valid information on what has been disturbing me for such a long time. i felt like i didn’t belong to the language i speak and.. jeez here it is, i’m not alone

All I can think abt is that one quote that basically just describes that you can’t be your true self in your native language bc there’s too much emotional attachment, but that second languages allow speakers to be truly free with their words

The Brothers Karamavoz, Fyodor Dostoevsky //The Goldfinch, Donna Tartt // Trainspotting, Irvine Welsh

Dark Academia things I do without noticing

- Having a ridiculous amount of tabs open of Wikipedia pages about ancient paintings, essays about Plato’s books and information about ivy league university’s.

- Listening to Hozier, Lana del Rey, classical music and slowed down versions of pop songs.

- Carrying notebooks, now twice the size as they were when I first bought them, filled with notes, paintings, lose papers with sketches and Latin words and their definition. 

- Finishing a book and immediately starting another one.

- Staying up till sunrise while drinking tea and reading poetry.

Every man is a creature of the age in which he lives and few are able to raise themselves above the ideas of the time

—Voltaire—

*dives out the window* the forest is calling my name

december moods | dark academia

listening to hozier at late evenings ;

ah, you wish it was never summer again ;

tight, heavy scarfs hug your neck ;

hot chocolate: a lot of it ;

when you look out of window and see snow ;

reading winter-set classics — there's nothing better ;

hot chocolate, again ;

wool blankets and sweaters ;

cold, harsh vibes...

or cozy, warm ones ;

watching the environment slowly fall asleep ;

wearing even more turtlenecks than you did before ;

feeling like a winter fairy ;

studying charles dickens ;

dancing in empty hallways ;

meeting those weird aunts with whom you in some way connects ;

finding winter-themed words in dictionaries ;

reading winter myths ;

reading in a calm setting ;

celebrating yule and/or winter solstice

And the nights, bigger than imagining: black and gusty and enormous, disordered and wild with stars.

i really like being pretentious and all but what i actually like even more is that i'm genuinely so invested in this hunt for knowledge that i'm on. like,,,, i do wanna know every work of shakespeare by heart and i do wanna read the night away draped over second hand philosophy books and a worn out volume of the illiad and i do wanna quote french poetry and oscar wilde at social events and i wanna be what history would call an intellectual and i wanna live and breathe these things i care about because i have a deep and consuming passion for them and i want to be as immersed in them as possible.

I wanna find my real self in 2020. I will read everything, finally start writing Poetry and travel. I will be productive. I will put myself first, take care of my skin, put good food in my body, save money and stay away from negativity and drama, especially not start drama ( so important) I wanna bury my past negative self while still honouring her, I just hope I become who i truly am.

dark academia is:

the secrets of life hidden in the vastness of the universe

finding the special moments amongst the silence in the library and in the velvet pressed against your cheek

feel the blood course through your veins

carrying adrenaline with every turn of events

empty mugs of better black coffee

cutting their hair and painting angels during their free time

androgynous scholars with a fascination for the mystic and philosophers from ancient times