From A 19th Century Bookplate..

attention !

as my soul longs for another's company, I subsequently am looking for one to converse with, a pen pal of sorts, ideally sharing an interest in the following:

• dark academia

• classical architecture

• roman & greek classicism

• latin (in lingua)

• the secret history

• classical literature

• an interest in reading in general

• open to the possibility of exchanging letters ?

• a passion for music

• a love for the obscure and esoteric

• a proclivity toward sesquipidalianism

• a tired soul confined to the body of one in their late teens

any (or none) will suffice, I am simply looking for someone to talk to and in turn who is willing to talk back 🖤

“epilogue”

he so fevently dreamed

aged and decrepit

shaking

in the building

flooded with moonlight

he no longer forced praise

and could not

sever ties with

the only connection

to

black-bordered death

a flood of painful memories

roaring

and

beautiful

Mercy never existed

reality never existed

he

just dreamed it all under the influence

a blackout poem made using a page taken from The Master and Margarita. Kind of reminded me of the time Richard almost froze himself to death in the mandolin factory because he was too scared to tell anyone that he had nowhere to stay during break.

Classics

Any quotes which make you shudder?

GLAD YOU ASKED:

“I’m sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine.” —Richard Siken from “Little Beast”“You happened to me. You were as deep down as I’ve ever been. You were inside me like my pulse.”—Marilyn Hacker from “Nearly a Valediction”“I don’t want to be around you. I don’t want to drink you in. I want to walk into the heart of you and never walk back out. “—Nico Alvarado from “Tim Riggins Speaks of Waterfalls”“Take me to your trees. Take me to your breakfasts, your sunsets, your bad dreams, your shoes, your nouns. Take me to your fingers.”—Margaret Atwood from “The Good Bones”“When I don’t touch you it’s a mistake in any life, in each place and forever.”—Bob Hicok from “Other Lives and Dimensions and Finally a Love Poem”“When I haven’t been kissed in a long time, I create civil disturbances, then insult the cops who show up, till one of them grabs me by the collar and hurls me up against the squad car, so I can remember, at least for a moment, what it’s like to be touched.”—Jeffrey McDaniel, “When a Man Hasn’t Been Kissed”“Kiss the mouth which tells you, here,here is the world. This mouth. This laughter. These temple bones.”—Galway Kinnell from “Little Sleep’s Head Sprouting Hair in the Moonlight”“I will love you forever; whatever happens. Until I die and after I die, and when I find my way out of the land of the dead, I’ll drift about forever, all my atoms, until I find you again.”—Phillip Pullman from “The Amber Spyglass”“I wanted to write ‘stay’ on your sides,surround your bed with oceans of salt.I hope he folds you into a fox, loves you like a splintered arrow, brandishes the kill of your lips. May the bouquet of your hips wither. May the wolves forget your name.”—J. Bradley“I love you. If you hadn’t existed I would have had to invent you.”–Elaine Dundy from “The Dud Avocado”“And I’d choose you; in a hundred different lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you.”—Kiersten White“The first time I asked you on a date, after you hung up, I held the air between our phones against my ear and whispered, ‘You will fall in love with me. Then, just months later, you will fall out. I will pretend the entire time that I don’t know it’s coming.’”—Miles Walser “I will come back from the dead for you.”—Richard Siken from “You Are Jeff”“Do you want it? Do you want anything I have? Will you throw me to the ground like you mean it, reach inside and wrestle it out with your bare hands? If you love me, Henry, you don’t love me in a way I understand.”—Richard Siken from “Wishbone”“Here we are, at the place where I get to beg for it. Where I get to say ‘Please,for just one night, will you lay down next to me? We can leave our clothes on,we can stay all buttoned up?’ But we both know how it goes–– I say I want you inside me and you hold my head underwater. I say I want you inside me and you split me open with a knife.”—Richard Siken from “Wishbone”“Even when I’m dead, I’ll swim through the Earth like a mermaid of the soil, just to be next to your bones.”—Jeffrey McDaniel

the dark academia girl

her body is always slightly bent to the side from being used to carry her leather satchel, heavy with books and notes

passes notes to her friends in latin during class to avoid being caught by the teacher

spends her evenings wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket drinking chamomile tea and reading ancient greek philosophy

can recite stabat mater by heart

quotes philosophers in her essays without actually specifying it's a quote

sneaks red wine in a thermos at school

has lent tsh to all her friends, encouraging them to annotate it

has engraved "pulvis et umbra sumus" on the stone of her school building

is excited beyond reason for duolingo latin

has named her roomba "alyosha"

wears very low heels/flats but can and will run after her bus in stilletos if need be

has pierced ears but rarely ever wears earrings

collects old books

is a grandma in terms of operating electronic devices

uses old books as a means of holding coffee/tea cups

Christopher Mullins

living the dark academia life

messy handwriting and even messier notebooks, doodles of skulls with sunflowers dangling from their eyes

burning the corners of pages, an older look given to them, the smell of ancient given to your room

wearing the cheapest, largest brown sweaters and the most comfortable, softest cream skirts

classical music softly bouncing on each one of the walls in your room, a list of your favorite composers pinned to your wall

a black ring on your finger, your hands wrapped around a warm cup of tea

your eyes closing softly from spending too much time reading, a candle to keep you company

the wet tip of your finger, the turning of yet another page

soft brown on your eyelids, gloss on your lips

long studying session in the library, you’re curled up on your chair, seven academic books are sitting next to your side, three articles are waiting to be read

stains around the edges of your nails, your skin painted with ink

a book in your bag, a pen used as a bookmark to annotate everything that makes your hands shake

a leather belt around your waist, your old grandpa’s sweatshirt tucked in has not gone to waste

standing right in the centre of a museum, sketching the outline of a sculture, scribbling down everything there is to know about a painting – in this, your hands are still stained

letting the rain softly caress your hair, carrying an umbrella to match your velvet trousers

a smile on your face when writing an essay, a yawn from your mouth when you finally go to sleep – after your eyelids are closed, psychedelic, dark and soft dreams are reaching your mind

November aesthetics: 'Eros' by Ludovico Einaudi, black coffee, chaotic notes from the previous night, constant headaches and fatigue, screams at midnight, dripping candle wax, cold bed, insomnia, reading William Blake's biography.

Physically? I'm here but mentally I'm on a one way train to a mysterious city where nobody knows my name after just leaving an omnious note for my friends and family

I recommend constructing a detailed image of who you want to be and how you want your life to be, down to all the details (love-life, work, money, your home, day to day life, etc). Flesh it out fully and let your heart and desires govern the whole thing, don’t hold back at all, create your ideal life. And everyday think about it - and feel it. Feel it as if your life is already that way. And make all your decisions according to its ultimate fulfillment. Get in touch with your values, what’s really important to you, and let them guide you.