“Up On Melancholy Hill Sits A Manatee Just Looking Out For The Day”

[CLICK]

[DUMBASS]

A Season Two Finale, a commentary by an insignificant little woman, head dumbass of my household, somewhere in Europe.

Commentary Begins.

[DUMBASS, COMMENTARY]

AAAAAAAHHH-

I'm in an episode 111 mood...

*squeaky voice* Jonathan's discovering stuff! I'm so proud!

the transition im crying

I'm at episode 118, Tim I asked you not to die, IF I GO TO THE NEXT EPISODE AND DON'T HEAR YOUR VOICE I'LL BE CRYING FOR A WEEK.

So, some thoughts about episode 117:

"I don’t quite get those two. I suppose what they’ve done, seeing what they’ve seen… it’s a hell of a bond." I thought that with the Eye's power you would be better at seeing things like this one

But then again, you haven't seen how much Martin's been trying to get closer to you, so I should've expected that.

THEY'RE GAY, ARCHIVIST-

God, Basira, I just want to hug the shit out of you.

"How the hell did I end up having to save the world?" Dear I don't have the slightest clue, other than Elias Bouchard being a dick and involving you and your girlfriend into this mess.

Melanie being awkward is adorable, but then she monologues about her violent tendency and thoughts against Elias...

I am worried.

Like, Miss King, please, PLEASE. I know Elias Bouchard is, as you said, and asshole, but please don't.

I know that at least two entities feed on violence and FUCK I DON'T WANNA LOSE ANYONE TO THEM-

"Good luck, John. I do hope you win." Good Melanie! :)

"...But I also hope it hurts." Bad Melanie! :(

I love every single Martin interaction.

EVERY SINGLE ONE.

Baby! Dear! Don't worry! It's normal to feel scared!

 "I need them to be safe, I need him to be okay. So-sorry, umm." Don't say sorry, dearie, you just made my day, don't say sorry-

Oh, okay Daisy, good talk. :)

Getting ready to kick some plastic ass!

God, seeing Tim this fiery and passionate is SO GOOD, but, as I said for Melanie, PLEASE DON'T DO DUMB SHIT.

"I’m gonna hurt them, though. I’m gonna hurt the thing that stole my brother and wrecked my life." UHHHH, TIM?! PLEASE DON'T DIE-

"I’m the distraction. If it looks like any of the circus folk, mannequins, whatever, are gonna see the others, I’m to make the biggest mess I can, draw them away, keep them busy." TIM, LOVE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA DIE TODAY, ARE YOU?!

"I don’t expect I’m going to be coming back from this. I don’t know if I want to."

TIM NOOOOOOO-

Me, desperate, listening to episode 154: "Come on, I love them so much, why do they have to suffer like this?!"

Me: "Let them go!"

Me: "Let Jonathan go, Ceaceless Watcher!"

Me: "Oh almighty Lonely, leave Martin be!"

Me, realizing: "..."

Me: "..."

Me: "I may want to rephrase that one."

Little Things in Novel A I'll Never Recover From:

Deuce having a conversation with a skeleton.

Ace being over the top respectful to Banshee to the point where he's apologizing to her when she's not even there.

Skull addressing Ace and Deuce as "master" (idk why he does it but it's rly cute).

The precious heart to heart between Deuce and Whitebeard 🥺 (Deuce becomes one of his favorite sons and no one can tell me otherwise).

How Whitebeard gets all ashamed when he burns his hand in the same spot and is only worried about Deuce being disappointed in him.

Ace and Deuce's attempted ferris wheel date.

The part where Mihal only ever leaves his cabin when something might be wrong with Ace (the crew loves him 🥺 so fucking much).

How Deuce is super defensive when the crew reads over his shoulder as he's writing, but is way nicer when it's Wallace (cuz Wallace is learning to read and it's like Deuce is actively making sure he doesn't discourage him which is so sweet).

Deuce taking haki coated kicks to the stomach multiple times just so he can break Dorrow's flame throwers in order to save Ace.

Dine and dash.

Thatch and Ace becoming insanely close friends and drinking buddies even BEFORE Ace joined the crew.

Flower Crowns 💐🥰💐🥰💐

When Ace shared sake with Whitebeard 🥺🥺🥺 (that whole cup exchange actually).

Everyone on the Spades panicking because they have no faith in Ace and are worried he may light a Celestial Dragon on fire if he's left alone to wander (which is, let's be honest, very fair).

Ace being an absolute fucking DISASTER of a man when he meets Shanks and tries to thank him for saving Luffy.

Ace: For I am but a humble country boy-

Shanks: What in the fuck...?

(Honey plz talk like a normal person I'm-)

Shanks figuring out who Ace's father is in .2 seconds because he's literally that smart.

Deuce heel kicking a bounty hunter over the ship railing (a jealous and protective boi :3).

Banshee: Are you sure this is okay?

Ace: Yeah it was Deuce's idea.

(BABY IS LISTENING TO HIS BOYFREN TO THE LETTER. Also the implication that Ace still and will always go to Deuce for advice and to help with plans even though they're part of Whitebeard's crew. It's just... so pure and romantic).

Kotatsu growling at Blackbeard 👌

Deuce fully prepared to DRAG Ace away from the battle with Jimbei after he collapses.

Deuce and Ace are in love bye.

"I do! It's me! I'm listening! And a hefty bunch of other people around the world-"

tainted love but scout

This is almost as good as going all John Amehrst on Elias's office.

Extremely late crack AU where Gertrude and Gerry met the guy with the clown-eating Monster Pig and just took it back to the Institute. 

Jonah-James-Elias: I’m compelled to ask why

Gertrude: This is my new service animal.

Jonah: For what service?

Gertrude, with her longest pointed Stare: Eating clowns

Jonah:

Monster Pig, sitting outside Jonah’s office, staring in at him through the door he Knows was closed and locked when he came in: 🐷

And that’s where it stays. The titanic horror-hog wouldn’t go anywhere if it didn’t want to. It’d be there to greet Breekon and Hope the second they tried to walk in with their delivery. It’d devour them and the table in one sitting just to get at the Not-Them. 

It’d lay in wait, lurking around Jon and the Archive crew like a massive pink shadow–

Jon: Elias, I understand Gertrude was attached to it, but are you sure we shouldn’t relocate th–

Monster Pig, in the corner: 🐷

Jonah, Knowing it knows where he sleeps: The Pig Stays, Jon

–and turn up at the Unknowing, at which point it would devour the entire circus. 

Jon, Tim, Basira, Daisy:

Monster Pig: 🐷

Its job done, it goes snorting off into the night, maybe heading back to haunt its very best friend, Dylan Anderson…after a brief detour.

Jonah, sitting in his cell: Well, the Unknowing was a waste. At least there’s still the Dark Sun to string them along w–

Monster Pig, kicking down the door, having saved the best clown for last: 

 🐷  

tl;dr: The Monster Pig was Flesh-aligned, Stranger-averse, pro-clown-cannibalism, and would’ve saved the day if Gertrude had only taken it away to let it do what it loved

Welcome to episode 170: "Recollection" or, as I like to call it:

"I hate the Lonely and what it does to Martin."

Or even better:

"Peter Lukas get out of your little hiding place and you'll see, NOT YOUR FUCKING FOG, but ME BECAUSE I'M COMING FOR YOU-"