“Oh, You’ve Got A Pretty Smile,” The First Woman Said, Returning Uncomfortably Close To My Side.

I Don’t Feel Safe Around Cis Women.

It’s time we all rethink our perceptions of various groups as inherently “dangerous” and “safe.”

“Oh, you’ve got a pretty smile,” the first woman said, returning uncomfortably close to my side. “Look at that, look at his smile. Give me a smile again. Come on, give me a smile.”

I looked away from them and kept moving. The women continued after me down the full length of my block, mocking my movements, pelting me with questions, screaming at me, and pressing up close to my body while continually demanding I smile.

When I arrived at my apartment the two women stood outside a while, the first woman hollering “HEY GIRL, HEY GIRL” at me, in a mockery of a gay voice while flipping her wrist, until I disappeared inside. I stood in the dark with my back against the door. My shoulders slumped. I began to cry.

This is the type of degrading, gendered street harassment that women routinely report experiencing from men. Moments like these contribute to many cis women’s perceptions of the outside world and strangers, particularly unfamiliar men, as menacing and unsafe. Yet cis women often refuse to believe that I’ve been preyed upon by people they share an identity category with, and that because of such moments, I don’t feel safe around them.

I don’t feel safe around cis women. And a lifetime of bad experiences has fed into that.