Original Text Post By @heelys-ben-hargreeves

Part of being aroace is living in the shadow of romantic relationships. Living with this tiny, constant fear that one day everyone will care about someone alse and you will be secondary. That romantic relationships will gradually become more important to the people you care about until all of a sudden you’ll be alone. That people will never value platonic relationships as you do. A small, scary part of the aroace experience is the fear of slowly losing everyone you love.

What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?

George Eliot  (via thursdays-at-the-coffeeshop)

Ilvermorny/Hogwarts Combos

I’ve seen a couple of these posts, so I thought I’d try my hand at it. Go through the potential combinations of Ilvermorny and Hogwarts houses and write a bit about what they represent to me. Not based on any data or polling, just on what seems to make sense to me:

Thunderbird Gryffindor: Thunderbird house is said to favour adventurers, and this is perhaps the most literal interpretation. Thundergryffins tend to be explorers and thrill seekers. Their bravery is not necessarily geared to some righteous cause (though this combo does not preclude that) they simply want their life filled with excitement. As such they can be easily bored which can make them irascible if they are deprived of stimulation. But they are bound to make interesting the lives of any who calls them friend.

Thunderbird Hufflepuff: Thunderpuffs focus on is on experiencing things with friends. These people are not ones for solitude, they will go stir crazy left on their own for a couple of days. It seems they’re always on lunches out, at parties, on trips. It’s not so much the activity that matters so much as the company. They just love people and want to experience as much of mankind as possible.

Thunderbird Ravenclaw: This is my house combination. Thunderclaws are the creatives and innovators. Luna and her parents would all find themselves in this category. If Thunderbirds are adventurers, Thunderclaws prefer to adventure via stories - sitting curled up with a good book as their mind takes them to far off worlds beyond anything that can be experienced in reality. They are dreamers and idealists and can often get their heads lost in the clouds. It can be painful for them when their dreams do not match up with reality and perhaps the oft-found obsession with fiction is an escape.

Thunderbird Slytherin: Thunderins are definitely more on the ambitious side of Slytherin house. They aspire to achieve greatness. For them their adventure is the road to success, and the luxuries that success brings. They definitely appreciate the finer things in life and their ambition tends to be towards living the high life rather than being some lofty goal. Nonetheless Thunderins are often some of the most driven and passionate folk you will ever meet.

Wumpus Gryffindor:  Unshakeable in their convictions and unmatched in their tenacity, Wumpindors are soldiers through and through. Their causes may be righteous or not, but like the beast from which House Wumpus gets its name, Wumpindors are nigh unstoppable. This combo has a dark reputation and Wumpindors may tend towards anger and aggression. They can be quick to see force as the best option in a crisis. They are ultimately fighters - Not merely people who will fight, but people for whom fighting is their way of life and their first resort.

Wumpus Hufflepuff: If you think of the quintessential social justice warrior, that is a Wumpuff. I do not use the term SJW in an inherently negative term as many do. Rather, Hufflepuffs are concerned with honour and fairplay and as such Wumpuffs cannot stand seeing injustice in the world and seek to eradicate it. They will fight fiercely to protect their friends, but their protective instincts apply to the whole world. This can result in them lashing out at people who they see as part of the problem but at their hearts they simply wish to fight for a better world.

Wumpus Ravenclaw: Wumpenclaws are the practical Ravenclaws. These people have ideas and they want them implemented damn it! They are excellent planners and incredibly organised. This combo favours strategists, business leaders and entrepreneurs.

Wumpus Slytherin: Ruthlessness incarnate, Wumperins have lofty ambitions and will do absolutely anything to achieve them. This is probably the combo with the darkest reputation. I would put Voldemort himself in this category. But do not let you think this is an inherently bad combo, any more than Slytherin itself is. If a Wumperin’s ambition is a benign one their passion for achieving their goals is bound to result in success. And if their cause is righteous, a Wumperin can spark a revolution.

Pukwudgie Gryffindor: Anyone would be fortunate to call a Pukindor a friend, for they are perhaps the fiercest allies one could have. Their loyalty and the bonds of friendship that they form are unbreakable. When their friends are down and out they will be the ones to light a fire beneath them, and then rain hell down on whoever did their friend wrong.

Pukwudgie Hufflepuff: In my mind Puffs and Puks have a lot of similarities, so a Puklepuff represents the idea of the quintessential Hufflepuff. These people are the gentlest souls you will ever meet, kind, nurturing and supportive. The Cinammon Rolls of the world. They may well be great cooks or simply have a great love of food - or indeed of anything which brings people together.

Pukwudgie Ravenclaws: Pukenclaws are people who use their ideas and intellect to help others. Pukwudgies are known for being healers and it is in this combination that that becomes most literal - Pukenclaws are often Doctors, nurses, vets or surgeons. In their day to day life they are adept at finding the easiest solutions to problems - the masters of “lifehacks”.

Pukwudgie Slytherin: I’ve often said that Slytherins are the type of people to low-key ruin the lives of anyone who wrongs their friends. People often overlook that Slytherins are incredibly loyal to one another and it is in the Pukerin combo that this quality shines through. The focus here is less on ambition and more on cunning and ruthlessness - more specifically the cunning and ruthlessness required for the Pukerins family (be that literal and/or metaphorical) to survive. And when they or their loved ones are wronged, they are not above enacting a terrible, yet subtle vengeance.

Horned Serpent Gryffindors: Serpendors are people with an area (or areas) of expertise and they know it. They are self-assured in what they are good at (and know what they are bad at) and this surety results in unmatched confidence and competence in that area. That classic Gryffindor bravery comes through in their ideas and their execution. They are independent and efficient. Hermione would be a proud Serpendor, as would McGonagall.

Horned Serpent Hufflepuffs: An unusual combination, as the warmth and heart of Hufflepuff may seem at odds with the detached analysis of Horned Serpent. However funnily enough I think that Isolt Sayre herself falls into this combo. Serpenpuffs know people. They are excellent judges of character and know what makes people tick. They may find promising careers in psychology. They are well meaning but they may feel the need to coddle their friends and family (just as Isolt refused to tell her children of Gormlaith even into their teenage years) and they can at times be aloof and irascible. If you are friends with a Serpenpuff you can probably expect a couple of fallings out (just as Isolt did with William), but in the end they care for their loved ones deeply.

Horned Serpent Ravenclaws: These two houses share many similarities, and of the four Ilvermorny Houses, Horned Serpent is the one with the most direct Hogwarts counterpart here. As such Serpentclaws represent the “stereotypical” Ravenclaw. Aloof, cool and analytical, these are the academics. Their work is done in papers and in the lab, but the implications can be world changing. They need to be mentally stimulated at all times and as such prefer the company of other intellectuals.

Horned Serpent Slytherins: Slytherserpents have a focus on the cunning aspect of Slytherin house. They are always the ones with the plan and that plan is more often than not at least a little underhanded. While other Slytherins may let their ambitions outmatch their abilities, Slytherserpents never have this problem. They do not achieve their ends through brute force and ruthlessness (as Wumperins do) but through subtle tricks and manipulations.

Who has not asked himself at some time or other: am I a monster or is this what it means to be a person?

Clarice Lispector (via remnantsofapoet)

you’re telling me, there are people out there who aren’t constantly overwhelmed by the feeling that they’re not doing enough with their life? everyone’s biggest fear isn’t inadequacy? it’s not a universal experience to be terrified of dying nothing more than a tiny blip on the timeline of the human race, without making a significant contribution to society? wild

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Aah people have been really nice today, and also everyone, if you’ve sent me nice messages the only reason I haven’t posted or responded to them is I don’t want them to leave my inbox, so thank you all.

I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I need you all to know the dream I had last night involved Robin Williams becoming the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Not, a character portrayed by Robin Williams, just Robin Williams as himself running around Hogwarts doing wandless magic and being as loud and big as possible because and I quote before I forget:

“Listen, children, I’m not saying all this bad shit that is happening isn’t scary and you shouldn’t be concerned–because you should!–but I’m telling you this now for free. Life is a boggart, it’s the biggest boggart of them all. You never know what it’s going to look like one moment to the next. And sometimes you just gotta laugh. It’s okay to laugh. It’s part of the grieving process. You need to grieve before you can heal. But it’s okay to laugh while you’re doing it.”

I didn’t wake up right after that, some more stuff happened in a hazy sort of way as the dream began to dissolve into conciousness, but I remember him yelling Expecto Patronum as he punched a Death Eater in the face. Because sometimes, evidently, you have to make your own happy memories.

Dating as an Ace

Talking to people in person is terrifying because I know once I come out to them they’ll lose all interest/think I’m a freak.

Trying to use dating apps is a waste because most of them are for one night stands or casual sex, not relationships.

Meeting people at work sucks because even if they’re really cute, I can’t make any approaches past “how can I help”, which gets me ignored 90% of the time anyway.

Not even my college pride group is useful because when I told them I was Ace, the club president went “is that real?” That broke my heart.

And finally I have online meetings that lead to LDRs. I’ve been in a LDR and it was the happiest I’ve ever been, but when she left I felt empty because a person I’ve never met took so much from me.

Nothing works, and it’s so depressing.

shoutout to all the “gifted kids”

who now have depression and/or anxiety, are probably adhd but dont know bc they were never diagnosed bc they just assumed that was part of being “gifted”, have a crippling fear of rejection and not being good enough, struggle to learn new skills bc if they arent perfect the first time then whats the point, and hide all of their self doubt with memes