Stupid Fucking Names That Americans Call Their Kids:

Stupid fucking names that Americans call their kids:

Apple

Blanket

Bear

&

shit

More Posts from Absurdbagel and Others

10 months ago

sometimes a family is you, the hero, the cold, the broken, the smitten, the cheated, the skeptic, the stubborn, the opportunist, the paranoid, the hunted, the contrarian, the princess you all have repeatedly failed the slay, and the narrator who hates you all.


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9 months ago

oh oh oh oh where I GOOOO WHEN I GO THERE NO MORE SHADOOOOOOWSSS ANYMOREEEE ONLY YOU THERE IN THE KISS AND NOTHING MISSING AS YOU'RE DRIFTING TO SHORE (where I go)

where I go... when I go there... noooo more weeping anymore.... (oh no no... no) Only INNNNN AND OUT YOUR LIPS the broken WISHES washing WITH them to shore....

touch me (touch me) all silent (all silent) baby just tell me... tell me please all is forgiven TOUCH me consume my wine... consume my MIND I'LL TELL YOU WHERE WHERE THE WINDS SIGH

TOUCH ME!!!!


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3 weeks ago

girls just wanna have fun an academic year with a ridiculously small class that might be considered essentially a cult in a field that’s tragically pretentious and consists of only the best of the best - the elite in their particular field where everyone is hot, evil and gay, everyone fucks everyone but they all hate eachother and hurt eachother yet are bound together with this inexplicable need and entanglement up in eachother, someone prophecized to die, power and knowledge driving each of them to a state of madness, found family in a sense but the family is fucked up and the chemistry and connection between all of them is so bright that it might burn all of them alive and they’d be happy to burn because this was the precipice they were reaching for anyways, so much power and so much obsession and so much passion and mania with the academia and even more so eachother and they fuck eachother up and fix eachother all at once and ohmygod GIVE ME IT


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4 years ago

physically im here but mentally im in the vegas chapter of the goldfinch

11 months ago

Ever since I was a young child, I knew I wanted to be a fucked up creature.

8 months ago

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called "the word of your body" 😳 you’ll zonked out of your gourd 💯

me: yeah whatever. I don't feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw ilse in the forest

my buddy melchior pacing: the church is lying to us


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9 months ago

clears throat

GOD A DREAMED THERE WAS AN ANGEL WHO COULD HEAR ME THROUGH THE WALL


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11 months ago

“you’re so hot” ok but am i unsettling? do i seem eerie to you? give you a bit of the heebie jeebies? when i walk into a room do you feel a chill down your spine?

sometimes i think that beauty is all that matters to you people smh

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absurdbagel - bagel
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