Absolut3-garbag3 - RANDOM CRAP

if a teenager is at your door and they are wearing a costume!! please give them candy!! they are still in it for the halloween spirit and it honestly no different from a little kid in a costume. they are just as excited and happy as all the other lil tykes and dont you dare tell them they are “too old for trick-or-treating” because that will literally break their hearts and that’s not cool.

When your parents think you’re dating your best friend

the floor is being bi

A masterpost of incorrect MCR quotes

Frank: I may be short but that still doesn’t mean you won’t face the wrath of god.

Ray: We lost a lot of good bread that day..

Ray: And several human lives.

Bob: Gerard, be frank. Do you like me?

Gerard: How can I be Frank if I’m Gerard?

Bob: *screams internally*

Mikey: If I die, my funeral is gonna be the biggest party and you’re all invited.

Gerard: “If”?

Frank: Great, the one party I’m invited to and he might not even die.

Gerard: what if the G in gif is silent

Lindsey, on the other side of the bed: go to sleep

Gerard: what gif I don’t want to

Lindsey: fuck you

Mikey: The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math.

Ray: Well, you made a lot of people nervous.

Gerard: So? That’s because they’re a bunch of bitch-ass white boys.

Ray: I hate to break it to you, Gee, but you’re a bitch-ass white boy too.

Frank: if spiders were the size of cats, would they be less scary or more scary? On the one hand, they wouldn’t get into your house so easily, but once they’re in there, ohhh boy. ohhhhhhhhh boy.

Party Posion: Hey, Hey, cut the music!

Party Posion: So one of you left a ice cube on the ground and now my sock is wet. *cocking ray gun* Which one of you is gonna die?

Jet Star: How do you just eat with a dead guy laying there?

Fun Ghoul: What, am I supposed to share?

Gerard: Would you like a cup of coffee?

Mikey: Sure, sounds nice-

Gerard: Get me one too.

Mikey: *looks into the camera*

Bob: Every time I talk with you people it gets more and more absurd!

Frank: You say “you people” like you’re not part of the family. Well I got news for you. You’re already on the Christmas card.

Frank: Gee, you’re like a angel with no wings.

Gerard: So a person.

Korse: What do they call you?

Party Posion: They call me Johnny two-guns, on account of my two guns. What about you?

Korse: Johnny fifty-guns.

Party Posion: fuck you.

some dude: So. The fabulous four. I thought you were a myth.

Kobra Kid: Well you were mythtaken.

Mikey: Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?

Gerard: No, I said, “Michael, don’t you dare lick the swing set,” then you said, “Don’t tell me what to do, Way” then you licked the swing set.

Jet Star: It’s time for bed.

Missile Kid, holding a teddy bear up: Mr. Snuffles says I can stay up as long as I want, and that you need to DIE

Jet Star: *crouches down*

Jet Star: Mr. Snuffles, what the hell

Party Posion: Listen up, you little shits.

Party Posion: Not you, Missile. You’re a angel and we’re glad you’re here.

Mikey: Who the fuck-

Ray: Language.

Mikey: Whom the fuck-

Ray: NO

Gerard: What do you want to eat?

Frank’s internal monologue: THE SOULS OF THE INNOCENT.

Frank: a bagel.

Frank’s internal monologue: NOOO

Frank: two bagels!

Lindsey, a deck of tarot cards on the table before her: I will now tell your fortune.

Jamia: Cool

Lindsey: why is every card death, what the fuck, I don’t even own that many death cards

Jamia: Figures.

Gerard: My work here is done.

Jamia: But you didn’t even do anything!

Gerard: *steps into the shadows*

Personally, I think being a box may be fun today

(✿◠‿◠)

This is when, through the magic of the Internet, I met Phil. And obviously, we were more than friends, but…it was more than just romantic. This is someone that genuinely liked me. I trusted them. And for the first time since I was a tiny child, I felt safe. And the relationship that we formed at that point was something I needed in my life. We are real best friends. Companions through life. Like…ACTUAL soulmates. Not that souls are a real thing that exist. It’s so lucky to just find someone you can be that compatible with. And especially to anyone that has experienced the kind of self hatred that I’ve dealt with…one person accepting you can make all the difference. And I bet so many people wanna know so much more about that which honestly, I take as a compliment but…here’s the thing. I’m somebody that wants to keep the details of my personal life private. So is Phil.

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That’s it.

Thats the post.

I can’t breathe.

In case anyone is having a bad night:

Here is the fudgiest brownie in a mug recipe I’ve found

Here are some fun sites

Here is a master post of Adventure Time episodes and comics

Here is a master post of movies including Disney and Studio Ghibli

Here is a master post of other master posts to TV shows and movies

*tucks you in with fuzzy blanket* *pats your head*

You’ll be okay, friend <3

Bands as shit people said at my school

Ryan: *choking on a hotdog*

Brendon: *takes out IPhone & starts to film it* And here we see a wild Ryanus Rossos in it‘s natural habitat, calling for a mate.

Jon: DUDE HE‘S CHOKING! CALL AN AMBULANCE YOU TWAT!

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Pete: Basically Disney was the first Furry ever.

Patrick: Actually the first Furry in existence was an austrian Emperess from the 19th century who got herself a whole body horse costume made and died in it.

Pete: W T F ?! I am not sure if i am more disturbed by the story itself or you knowing that story.

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Brendon: I‘m not saying I would sacrifice someone tho Cthulu just to see if he‘s real, but i think it would be cool if we found out that there really is a gigantic tentacle overlord in the ocean

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Lyn-Z: I may be a girl but beware of my wrath!

Random Bully: *laughs* Why? Are you gonna throw your make up at me you pussy?

Lyn-Z: *hitting his head by throwing a table at him*

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Teacher: And what does this story tell us?

Billie Joe: CAPITALISM IS FUCKING SHIT!

Teacher: Billie Joe no!

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Joe: Is smoking weed vegan?

Andy: no! Yes-… Maybe? Depends?!

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Pete: *gets kicked in the balls* Hey! I may be gay but i still need those!

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Pete: 2 years ago my photo gallety was filled with pictures of me and friends. Now it‘s just memes and gay pride.

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Mikey: I want to be a unicorn. Than i could impale people and the police couldn‘t come after me cuz the laws do not apply to mystical creatures.

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