Dreaming Uncertain Things About Certain People Feels Intriguing.

being a teenager made me realize it was not my fault. every blame they put on me was never ever mine.

-August.

10.49AM FRI 21 OCT 2022.

they don't see the dew on the leaves which were my tears because those aren't from my eyes.

they don't know i cannot cry because i am just an echo of desert, and everything is dry.

instead of my eyes, my heart cries.

my heart yells evertime a nail is pierced on my soul which is so concealed that it is as invisible as air.

i have no place to shed tears. i have no home to weep.

for me, these leaves cry. they know the pain i am enduring. they understand my heartache.

i have eyes but they see me more. they are my companion in my best and worse. they give me a way to breathe.

i could never be more thankful to what earth gave me and how soil is always giving me a place to keep my feet on.

i am fortunate enough to have a friend no one else has.

YOU ARE PRETTY

Bitter expectation

I kept my door open

Hoping you’ll come by

Hoping you’ll notice how my eyes rained

Hoping that you’ll ask what happened

Hoping you won’t buy my lie

I kept my door open

With a burning believe inside

That you’ll stop by my side

Thinking you’ll comfort me while I mewl.

I kept my door open

Trying to comprehend if I was right?

Lingering till midnight

Stacking up coldness from January wind

Deceiving myself that it'll be my last try

I kept my door open

Well-known that it’ll all become a waste

Knowing that I should leave the rest

I kept my door open even after knowing how bitter expectation taste.

i kept the lock lose,

just for his presence.

maybe he would come,

for that i cut the fence.

he came with matches,

and stones on his hand.

he burned everything,

just left me a bare land.

i loved him all my life,

but he shattered me so.

i kept him above all,

never wanted him to go.

i was living all alone,

he left me like a past.

i never fell in love,

he was my ever and last.

fall for me.

When Celine in before sunrise said, “I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away.”

When Praveen Shakir said, “sabse nazar bacha ke wo mujhe kuch aise dekhta, ek dafa toh ruk gai gardish-e-mah-o-sal bhi.”

And Jaun Elia said, “Jab uska deedar hota hai, dil ko sukoon milta hai, Aankhon me uski tasveer sajti hai, yaadon ka ghar ban jata hai”

And Faiz Ahmed Faiz said, “teri surat se hai aalam me baharo ko sabaat, teri aankhon k siwa dunia me rkha kya hai”

"You look awful without me." She whispered in his ear as his hand rushed along with her waist.

They were dancing. It was dark, vague dark. The only thing they could see were their eyes glistening by the reflection of moon.

"I want this night forever, just with you." He mumbled slowly.

"You have me." she said when his fingers were moving through her lips until he moved forward to feel them with his own.

It was their first kiss and it seems like that went great. They had booked a hotel room near the lake so even they forget their hotel location, they could find it by lake.

She was taking her clothes off. He was gazing at her body as if he is watching something so as valuable as souvenir. The temptation he had to resist to not feel the delicacy of her skin was so cruel. His eyes were restless.

"Don't stare." she said furiously.

"I serve art." He replied with a kiss on her forhead.

They were writing an epic on eachother's eyes.

"How can something be so pleasing and painful at the same time.?" She questioned with ocean in her eyes.

All their life, they were longing for intimacy, a companion, a partner, a friend. And now they have eachother but they couldn't figure out the situation. Why is it so hard to accept that you are really in love.?

"This must be my most genuine hug." He said knotting his arms around her.

They danced that whole night, screamed on Taylor Swift, wrote poems, cried, laughed, played, jumped. It counted on the list of their best nights.