In My Brief Experience As My Girlfriend's Sub I Noticed The Swift Emergence Of A Temptation To Try To

In my brief experience as my girlfriend's sub I noticed the swift emergence of a temptation to try to top from the bottom. I also noticed how this robbed the experience of everything it was aimed at providing. I assume, especially at first, that this is common. The man in you rebels a bit. Any tips for becoming a genuine sub? I do know that that is what I want sexually.

It’s in the nature of human beings, Female and male, to try to get what they want. I too have made the mistake you mention, and I think you’re right to suspect that it’s common. In past relationships with Women who were not so familiar with Female supremacy, I led from the bottom and regretted it. But what, as sub males, we have to realize is this: The insistence on leading from below *and* the resulting feeling of dissatisfaction may come from the same place–the desire by the male to satisfy himself. We put it in our heads that it has to be a certain way, fit some specific imagery we’ve picked up along the way in porn or personal experience. But it doesn’t have to be that way, and if we let go of those expectations, things get a little easier. It’s still a balance between submitting and asking for a little something along the way, but opening your male mind beyond the imagery and opening a space where you may still ask for a little something for yourself is–or has been in our relationship–hugely important. As I say, it’s a balance; ask for everything and get everything and it’s not going to feel like a completely Female-led relationship.

So here are some suggestions that might help (it works for us):

1. Remember what your father taught you. Hopefully your father (or similar figure) taught you the simple courtesy of good manners toward all Women. I suspect that most male subs received this teaching. Base your servitude upon that. Open doors for Her (for all Women, actually, but first and absolutely without fail for your Domina). Hold Her chair for Her in restaurants. Wait until She begins to eat before touching your own meal. Ask Her, “May I be excused?” before visiting the men’s room. That’s possibly a bit more than what our fathers taught us, but it’s close. Build on that. Ask Her if you may bring Her refreshment, whether Her shoes are comfortable presently, or whether She is comfortable with the room temperature. Is it stuffy? Offer to fan Her. Is it cold? Offer Her your coat, or rub her arms for Her if you have no coat. Notice that we haven’t even gotten to the realm of the sexual, but this should be your mindset; this will help set the tone for everything else. There are so many ways to be at Her disposal non-sexually, that you should make it a point *every day* to think up new ways that you might assist Her and make Her life easier, more comfortable. Now, this can go so far as to irritate some Women, and She should be able to let you know when it’s time to sit down and keep your mouth shut–you offer a world of services and She selects which ones She wants. 

2. Realize what your orgasm does to you. Who doesn’t want to have one? But there is actually more harm to your mindset in having one than you might realize. Others have posted on the chemistry of what happens to a man following orgasm, and I won’t attempt to explain it here. So whether you are strong enough to resist touching yourself or whether you actually need to be caged, avoid orgasms unless She wants them from you. Do that and you will see how badly you want to please Her. And in bed as elsewhere, your focus should be on Her. Believe me, when your mindset is right, you will derive a great deal of pleasure for yourself simply in knowing that you are satisfying Her. 

A suggestion: When you feel you’re having trouble resisting the urge to use your cock, be honest and say so. Ask Her if you may touch it. If She says no, great! You’ll suddenly have a sense of Her control. If She says yes, ask Her if you might do so right then and there. Some Dominas may never let you cum. Even though the Female is in charge, there may still be room for negotiation for some allowances. If She doesn’t even want to hear such requests, She will let you know. And either way, it’s a win-win because you’ve asked for something you want. And if She grants you permission, well then you get to be the dirty little dog fucking his hand in front of your Superior.

This weekend I got to cum twice. I was so desperate and feeling so…how do I put this? …so slutty and needy that when She said yes I almost cried and I got on my back, spread my legs, pointed my toes, and stroked like a mad man. The second occasion She allowed me, Sunday morning, I did it again, the very same thing, and this time She mounted my face and grinded against me while She watched me spread myself and fuck my hand. I like the way my desperation drives me to being dirty, and so does, I believe, Mistress. She says so and I can see it for myself.

3. The result of your orgasm is your responsibility. We men walk away from events after we’ve cum. That’s a fact. You owe it to Her to continue to be a good man/boi to Her even though you will get those feelings inside–the ones that make you a bit lazy and lax in fulfilling your duties. Discipline yourself to be responsible for that orgasm She granted you and do not turn your back on Her once She’s given it to you.

4. Watch how everyone else except men get attention in this world. When I’m feeling desperate for my Domina’s attention (and Mistress will tell you that I’m high maintenance), I will picture how a dog gets the attention of his Mistress. I am not bashful about (at home) crawling up to Mistress and putting my cheek against Her thigh, or Her feet, or licking Her hands or shoes–just like a dog does. Simply watch what your own dog does to get your attention and you’ll know exactly what I mean.

In bed, I may kiss Her cheek or touch Her hand or even wrap my legs around Her. She is my Partner, my Mate, my Best Friend, my Superior. 

In public I will kiss Her hand and look into Her eyes and smile. She knows me. She knows what it all means. I’m flirting. I’m showing Her how much I want Her in any way She will have me. I am inviting Her to take me in whatever manner She will, if She will.

5. Let it happen. Just let it happen. If She is an Alpha, She will take it from there. But allow yourselves to grow into it. Take it slowly. It doesn’t take off necessarily like a rocket (unless you’re lucky enough, like me, to have found someone who has already taken men to their knees). Appreciate everything She gives you–it’s a lot of work for Her. Appreciate also the secret desires She confesses to you, because trust is a gift that goes both directions.

Give in and let go. Give up your expectations as well as your inhibitions. Do so and I believe you’ll find the deepest kind of love you can imagine. 

–servus

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More Posts from A-mess-of-links and Others

1 year ago

figured out a way you can search for posts that are tagged TWO things on a blog!!! feeling clever

for anyone else who didn’t know, this is the format!:

https://[blogURL].tumblr.com/search/%23[tag1]%2C%20%23[tag2]

remove the [brackets] when using it!


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1 year ago
A large, silver and gold metallic structure is suspended from the ceiling in a spacious room. The structure is hollow with six sides, each covered with a diamond-like pattern. Three people in white bunny suits and blue gloves watch in the foreground. In the background, a large wall covered in small pinkish squares is at the left and another wall with a large viewing window is at the right. Credit: NASA/Jolearra Tshiteya

Roman's primary structure hangs from cables as it moves into the big clean room at NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center.

What Makes the Clean Room So Clean?

When you picture NASA’s most important creations, you probably think of a satellite, telescope, or maybe a rover. But what about the room they’re made in? Believe it or not, the room itself where these instruments are put together—a clean room—is pretty special. 

A clean room is a space that protects technology from contamination. This is especially important when sending very sensitive items into space that even small particles could interfere with.

There are two main categories of contamination that we have to keep away from our instruments. The first is particulate contamination, like dust. The second is molecular contamination, which is more like oil or grease. Both types affect a telescope’s image quality, as well as the time it takes to capture imagery. Having too many particles on our instruments is like looking through a dirty window. A clean room makes for clean science!

Two people in white “bunny” suits stand on a glossy, white floor. One holds a thin vacuum and the other holds a mop. On the floor behind them are some metallic structures and the wall behind them is covered in pale pink squares. Credit: NASA/Chris Gunn

Two technicians clean the floor of Goddard’s big clean room.

Our Goddard Space Flight Center in Greenbelt, Maryland has the largest clean room of its kind in the world. It’s as tall as an eight-story building and as wide as two basketball courts.

Goddard’s clean room has fewer than 3,000 micron-size particles per cubic meter of air. If you lined up all those tiny particles, they’d be no longer than a sesame seed. If those particles were the size of 16-inch (0.4-meter) inflatable beach balls, we’d find only 3,000 spread throughout the whole body of Mount Everest!

A person in a white “bunny” suit and blue gloves is sitting at a desk looking through the eyepiece of a microscope. Credit: NASA/Chris Gunn

A clean room technician observes a sample under a microscope.

The clean room keeps out particles larger than five microns across, just seven percent of the width of an average human hair. It does this via special filters that remove around 99.97% of particles 0.3 microns and larger from incoming air. Six fans the size of school buses spin to keep air flowing and pressurize the room. Since the pressure inside is higher, the clean air keeps unclean air out when doors open.

Close-up of a person wearing a white suit, mask, head covering, gloves, and glasses is hunched over a table in a dark room. They hold a small object in their right hand and a device with a grid of blue dots on it in their left hand. The device casts a blue glow on the sample they’re looking at, and on the person too. Credit: NASA/Chris Gunn

A technician analyzes a sample under ultraviolet light.

In addition, anyone who enters must wear a “bunny suit” to keep their body particles away from the machinery. A bunny suit covers most of the person inside. Sometimes scientists have trouble recognizing each other while in the suits, but they do get to know each other’s mannerisms very well.

A person in a white “bunny” suit, blue-green gloves, a face mask, and goggles stands in the center of a plain blue background. Each element is labeled as follows: gloves, full-body jumpsuit, sometimes glasses or goggles are worn, hairnet under head cover, mask, tape around wrists, and boot covers. At the bottom of the graphic, three items (perfume, lotion, and deodorant) are each inside a red circle with a line through it. Credit: NASA/Shireen Dooling

This illustration depicts the anatomy of a bunny suit, which covers clean room technicians from head to toe to protect sensitive technology.

The bunny suit is only the beginning: before putting it on, team members undergo a preparation routine involving a hairnet and an air shower. Fun fact – you’re not allowed to wear products like perfume, lotion, or deodorant. Even odors can transfer easily!

Two Black men, two white women, and two white men each stand in white lab coats and blue gloves. All are smiling. They are in a small room with silver metallic tables, one of which in the foreground reflects some of their likenesses. Credit: NASA/Chris Gunn

Six of Goddard’s clean room technicians (left to right: Daniel DaCosta, Jill Bender, Anne Martino, Leon Bailey, Frank D’Annunzio, and Josh Thomas).

It takes a lot of specialists to run Goddard’s clean room. There are 10 people on the Contamination Control Technician Team, 30 people on the Clean Room Engineering Team to cover all Goddard missions, and another 10 people on the Facilities Team to monitor the clean room itself. They check on its temperature, humidity, and particle counts.

A person wearing a white suit, face mask, head covering, and blue gloves with black tape wrapped around the wrists pours a clear liquid from one clear bottle into a larger clear beaker. Credit: NASA/Chris Gunn

A technician rinses critical hardware with isopropyl alcohol and separates the particulate and isopropyl alcohol to leave the particles on a membrane for microscopic analysis.

Besides the standard mopping and vacuuming, the team uses tools such as isopropyl alcohol, acetone, wipes, swabs, white light, and ultraviolet light. Plus, they have a particle monitor that uses a laser to measure air particle count and size.

The team keeping the clean room spotless plays an integral role in the success of NASA’s missions. So, the next time you have to clean your bedroom, consider yourself lucky that the stakes aren’t so high!

Make sure to follow us on Tumblr for your regular dose of space!


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5 months ago

I would like to address something that has come up several times since I relaunched my computer recommendation blog two weeks ago. Part of the reason that I started @okay-computer and that I continue to host my computer-buying-guide is that it is part of my job to buy computers every day.

I am extremely conversant with pricing trends and specification norms for computers, because literally I quoted seven different laptops with different specs at different price-points *today* and I will do more of the same on Monday.

Now, I am holding your face in my hands. I am breathing in sync with you. We are communicating. We are on the same page. Listen.

Computer manufacturers don't expect users to store things locally so it is no longer standard to get a terabyte of storage in a regular desktop or laptop. You're lucky if you can find one with a 512gb ssd that doesn't have an obnoxious markup because of it.

If you think that the norm is for computers to come with 1tb of storage as a matter of course, you are seeing things from a narrow perspective that is out of step with most of the hardware out there.

I went from a standard expectation of a 1tb hdd five years ago to expecting to get a computer with a 1tb hdd that we would pull and replace with a 1tb ssd to expecting to get a computer that came with a 256gb ssd that we would pull and replace with a 1tb ssd, to just having the 256gb ssd come standard and and only seeking out more storage if the customer specifically requested it because otherwise they don't want to pay for more storage.

Computer manufacturers consider any storage above 256gb to be a premium feature these days.

Look, here's a search for Lenovo Laptops with 16GB RAM (what I would consider the minimum in today's market) and a Win11 home license (not because I prefer that, but to exclude chromebooks and business machines). Here are the storage options that come up for those specs:

I Would Like To Address Something That Has Come Up Several Times Since I Relaunched My Computer Recommendation

You will see that the majority of the options come with less than a terabyte of storage. You CAN get plenty of options with 1tb, but the point of Okay-Computer is to get computers with reasonable specs in an affordable price range. These days, that mostly means half a terabyte of storage (because I can't bring myself to *recommend* less than that but since most people carry stuff in their personal cloud these days, it's overkill for a lot of people)

All things being equal, 500gb more increases the price of this laptop by $150:

I Would Like To Address Something That Has Come Up Several Times Since I Relaunched My Computer Recommendation

It brings this one up by $130:

I Would Like To Address Something That Has Come Up Several Times Since I Relaunched My Computer Recommendation

This one costs $80 more to go from 256 to 512 and there isn't an option for 1TB.

I Would Like To Address Something That Has Come Up Several Times Since I Relaunched My Computer Recommendation

For the last three decades storage has been getting cheaper and cheaper and cheaper, to the point that storage was basically a negligible cost when HDDs were still the standard. With the change to SSDs that cost increased significantly and, while it has come down, we have not reached the cheap, large storage as-a-standard on laptops stage; this is partially because storage is now SO cheap that people want to entice you into paying a few dollars a month to use huge amounts of THEIR storage instead of carrying everything you own in your laptop.

You will note that 1tb ssds cost you a lot less than the markup to pay for a 1tb ssd instead of a 500gb ssd

I Would Like To Address Something That Has Come Up Several Times Since I Relaunched My Computer Recommendation

In fact it can be LESS EXPENSIVE to get a 1tb ssd than a 500gb ssd.

I Would Like To Address Something That Has Come Up Several Times Since I Relaunched My Computer Recommendation

This is because computer manufacturers are, generally speaking, kind of shitty and do not care about you.

I stridently recommend getting as much storage as you can on your computer. If you can't get the storage you want up front, I recommend upgrading your storage.

But also: in the current market (December 2024), you should not expect to find desktops or laptops in the low-mid range pricing tier with more than 512gb of storage. Sometimes you'll get lucky, but you shouldn't be expecting it - if you need more storage and you need an inexpensive computer, you need to expect to upgrade that component yourself.

So, if you're looking at a computer I linked and saying "32GB of RAM and an i7 processor but only 500GB of storage? What kind of nonsense is that?" Then I would like to present you with one of the computers I had to quote today:

I Would Like To Address Something That Has Come Up Several Times Since I Relaunched My Computer Recommendation

A three thousand dollar macbook with the most recent apple silicon (the m4 released like three weeks ago) and 48 FUCKING GIGABYTES OF RAM with a 512gb ssd.

You can't even upgrade that SSD! That's an apple that drive isn't going fucking anywhere! (don't buy apple, apple is shit)

The norms have shifted! It sucks, but you have to be aware of these kinds of things if you want to pay a decent price for a computer and know what you're getting into.


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1 year ago

Ummm byee

Ummm Byee

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9 months ago

I attended a Dungeon Meshi themed dinner last weekend and wanted to share what was brought/devoured! Enjoy the comparison of what the dishes looked like irl vs the show

I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!
I Attended A Dungeon Meshi Themed Dinner Last Weekend And Wanted To Share What Was Brought/devoured!

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1 year ago
Bad Space Comics: The Suit
Bad Space Comics: The Suit
Bad Space Comics: The Suit
Bad Space Comics: The Suit
Bad Space Comics: The Suit
Bad Space Comics: The Suit
Bad Space Comics: The Suit
Bad Space Comics: The Suit
Bad Space Comics: The Suit
Bad Space Comics: The Suit

Bad Space Comics: The Suit


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4 months ago

hey look over there what's that *throws these at you*

disco elysium ultra compressed for free

sacred and terrible air english translation // group ibex version

disco elysium art book

full soundtrack by sea power // bandcamp version

disco elysium script explorer with audio

FAYDE (more accessible wiki of dialogue trees but without audio)


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3 months ago

the problem with autism is sometimes you want to do something (brave) but you need someone to gently walk you through each step so you know what will happen. and people don’t like doing that


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3 months ago

HOW TO SUCK DICK

If you simply wanted to get a guy off as quickly as possible, all you need to do is lock your lips at the base of his cock and suction them up and down the bottom ¾ of his shaft at a quick, steady pace while pressing your flattened tongue against the underside of his dick. Make sure you are applying pressure with both your lips AND tongue. Keeping your tongue engaged at all times is key. I try to keep mine moving at all times. This is how you get 90% of guys off. It helps me keep from gagging to hold his cock steady at the base and bring my lips down to meet my fingers. You can do this very slowly for a more intense feeling, but make sure you move at a steady rhythm. Some guys like it faster or slower; you may have to ask, or more likely, he’ll tell you. This is your power move, the one that is actually going to bring him to orgasm. A true hooker blowjob needs only this one move; if scientists were to create a blowjob machine, this is what it would do. The other moves I’m going to teach you are artistic flourishes; you use them to add flair and style to your blowjob or to slow down the action a little. SALIVA Don’t be afraid to just slobber all over his love muscle. It should be as wet and sloppy as possible, especially during your power move. A good blowjob makes loud, gross suction-y noises. When I’m done, I’m usually covered in my own drool and leave a wet spot on the bed. USING YOUR HANDS If his dick is too big for you to take the whole thing in your mouth, you’ll need to use your hand too. Slobber all over his cock for awhile first so your hand will slide easily up and down instead of just catching on his dry skin. The most important hand move is the twister. When you slide your hand up his shaft, twist your wrist. A twisting motion gets you into a smoother rhythm than the straight up and down. Slide your hand up and down on the base of his cock in conjunction with your mouth moving up and down on the rest of it. The hard part is finding the correct grip: again you may want his guidance. Another good trick is to wrap your hand around the top of his cock and put your mouth over your hand. Then slide your hand down the shaft and your mouth down on top of it in a fluid motion until your hand meets the base of his cock. It will feel like you’re sliding your mouth all the way down him even if you can’t. It’s times like these I wish I could draw; I’d make little diagrams. THE BALLS I usually start out by paying some attention to the balls. There are three basic ball moves: you can put them in your mouth and suck them (LIGHTLY), lick them with a flattened cow tongue, or tense your tongue into a point and run the tip of your tongue all over them. I alternate between all three. Sometimes I lift them up and lick underneath his balls. Also, if you cup them while you are entering the home stretch, you’ll be able to tell he’s about to cum as they get higher and tighter. THE HEAD My next move is usually to give his shaft several long licks from base to tip. This is the ice cream cone move; it looks sexy, it’s a nice touch, but it’s not going to make anybody cum. While conducting the power move, I come up from time to time to give the head a little attention: sucking on it, moving my tongue in a circle around it, and flicking my tongue over that spot on the underside that all the sex websites tell you is el sensitivo. In my experience, guys don’t really go that wild over attention to that spot, but these are just flourishes anyway. I tend to get a bit wrapped up in my work that I forget to make eye contact, so head action is a great time to look up at him with puppy dog eyes and his cock in your mouth. FACE SLAPPING I mentioned this in my tips to get him to cum faster, but at least once during the beej, I usually pop his dick out of my mouth and slap it against my tongue or face, then look at him while I rub his cock against my cheeks and lips. Guys are visual, this is just a little something dirty for him to look at. DEEP THROAT I can’t really teach you how to deep throat, that’s between you and your gag reflex. The important thing, I think, is to make an effort to take him in as deep as you can, even if it’s only for a few seconds. It’s hard to explain exactly how I do this: try concentrating on relaxing your throat and jaw. As I mentioned before, it helps me to steady his cock with my hand when I go deep, and breathing in instead of just holding your breath also helps abate that “gonna puke” feeling. THE BIG FINALE When you’re ready to finish him off, go into the power move and don’t vary your pace for anything. If you’re cupping his balls, you’ll often be able to tell when he’s about to cum as they tighten up. I speed up a little bit at the end, and when I feel him start to come I push my head down as deep as it will go and suck slowly and intensely at the base, letting his cum just shoot down my throat.


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6 months ago

figured out a way you can search for posts that are tagged TWO things on a blog!!! feeling clever

for anyone else who didn’t know, this is the format!:

https://[blogURL].tumblr.com/search/%23[tag1]%2C%20%23[tag2]

remove the [brackets] when using it!


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a-mess-of-links - some useful links
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