Imagine If You Met Someone Who Can't Eat Watermelon. Not That They're Allergic Or Unable Somehow, But

Southern Comfort (2001)

A beautiful scene featuring transgender man Robert Eades and his transgender girlfriend Lola.

HOW TO SUCK DICK

If you simply wanted to get a guy off as quickly as possible, all you need to do is lock your lips at the base of his cock and suction them up and down the bottom ¾ of his shaft at a quick, steady pace while pressing your flattened tongue against the underside of his dick. Make sure you are applying pressure with both your lips AND tongue. Keeping your tongue engaged at all times is key. I try to keep mine moving at all times. This is how you get 90% of guys off. It helps me keep from gagging to hold his cock steady at the base and bring my lips down to meet my fingers. You can do this very slowly for a more intense feeling, but make sure you move at a steady rhythm. Some guys like it faster or slower; you may have to ask, or more likely, he’ll tell you. This is your power move, the one that is actually going to bring him to orgasm. A true hooker blowjob needs only this one move; if scientists were to create a blowjob machine, this is what it would do. The other moves I’m going to teach you are artistic flourishes; you use them to add flair and style to your blowjob or to slow down the action a little. SALIVA Don’t be afraid to just slobber all over his love muscle. It should be as wet and sloppy as possible, especially during your power move. A good blowjob makes loud, gross suction-y noises. When I’m done, I’m usually covered in my own drool and leave a wet spot on the bed. USING YOUR HANDS If his dick is too big for you to take the whole thing in your mouth, you’ll need to use your hand too. Slobber all over his cock for awhile first so your hand will slide easily up and down instead of just catching on his dry skin. The most important hand move is the twister. When you slide your hand up his shaft, twist your wrist. A twisting motion gets you into a smoother rhythm than the straight up and down. Slide your hand up and down on the base of his cock in conjunction with your mouth moving up and down on the rest of it. The hard part is finding the correct grip: again you may want his guidance. Another good trick is to wrap your hand around the top of his cock and put your mouth over your hand. Then slide your hand down the shaft and your mouth down on top of it in a fluid motion until your hand meets the base of his cock. It will feel like you’re sliding your mouth all the way down him even if you can’t. It’s times like these I wish I could draw; I’d make little diagrams. THE BALLS I usually start out by paying some attention to the balls. There are three basic ball moves: you can put them in your mouth and suck them (LIGHTLY), lick them with a flattened cow tongue, or tense your tongue into a point and run the tip of your tongue all over them. I alternate between all three. Sometimes I lift them up and lick underneath his balls. Also, if you cup them while you are entering the home stretch, you’ll be able to tell he’s about to cum as they get higher and tighter. THE HEAD My next move is usually to give his shaft several long licks from base to tip. This is the ice cream cone move; it looks sexy, it’s a nice touch, but it’s not going to make anybody cum. While conducting the power move, I come up from time to time to give the head a little attention: sucking on it, moving my tongue in a circle around it, and flicking my tongue over that spot on the underside that all the sex websites tell you is el sensitivo. In my experience, guys don’t really go that wild over attention to that spot, but these are just flourishes anyway. I tend to get a bit wrapped up in my work that I forget to make eye contact, so head action is a great time to look up at him with puppy dog eyes and his cock in your mouth. FACE SLAPPING I mentioned this in my tips to get him to cum faster, but at least once during the beej, I usually pop his dick out of my mouth and slap it against my tongue or face, then look at him while I rub his cock against my cheeks and lips. Guys are visual, this is just a little something dirty for him to look at. DEEP THROAT I can’t really teach you how to deep throat, that’s between you and your gag reflex. The important thing, I think, is to make an effort to take him in as deep as you can, even if it’s only for a few seconds. It’s hard to explain exactly how I do this: try concentrating on relaxing your throat and jaw. As I mentioned before, it helps me to steady his cock with my hand when I go deep, and breathing in instead of just holding your breath also helps abate that “gonna puke” feeling. THE BIG FINALE When you’re ready to finish him off, go into the power move and don’t vary your pace for anything. If you’re cupping his balls, you’ll often be able to tell when he’s about to cum as they tighten up. I speed up a little bit at the end, and when I feel him start to come I push my head down as deep as it will go and suck slowly and intensely at the base, letting his cum just shoot down my throat.

some new additions to my google drive recently ◠ ◡ ◠

lanscape in the mist (1988) dir. theo angelopoulos

the full monty (1997) dir. peter cattaneo

gormenghast (2000), complete series

the romance of astrea and celadon (2007) dir. éric rohmer

the personal history of david copperfield (2019) dir. armando iannucci

belle (2021) dir. mamoru hosoda

Hannibal: The Second Season (2014)

Kaiseki - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller & actor Hugh Dancy

Sakizuke - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller and chef José Andrés

Takiawase - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller & Hettienne Park

Yakimono - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller, actor Raúl Esparza and writer Steve Lightfoot

Su-zakana - Commentary with creator  Bryan Fuller & actor Hugh Dancy

Naka-Choko - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller & actor Caroline Dhavernas

Mizumono - Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller & actor Hugh Dancy & Commentary with creator Bryan Fuller & writer Steve Lightfoot

https://mega.nz/#F!XI8nlZBR!cdfN6yfZYhfTQQXTEj9yvA

æ is a visually stunning pseudohorror exploration game where you venture into surreal noisecore purgatories in search of glyphs.

Read More & Play The Full Game, Free (Windows)

From the somethingawful forums, the live thread when 9/11 happened

to all my researchers, students and people in general who love learning: if you don't know this already, i'm about to give you a game changer

connectedpapers

the basic rundown is: you use the search bar to enter a topic, scientific paper name or DOI. the website then offers you a list of papers on the topic, and you choose the one you're looking for/most relevant one. from here, it makes a tree diagram of related papers that are clustered based on topic relatability and colour-coded by time they were produced!

for example: here i search "human B12"

i go ahead and choose the first paper, meaning my graph will be based around it and start from the topics of "b12 levels" and "fraility syndrome"

here is the graph output! you can scroll through all the papers included on the left, and clicking on each one shows you it's position on the chart + will pull up details on the paper on the right hand column (title, authors, citations, abstract/summary and links where the paper can be found)

you get a few free graphs a month before you have to sign up, and i think the free version gives you up to 5 a month. there are paid versions but it really depends how often you need to use this kinda thing.

Here’s the thing: I love the horror AESTHETIC, but I hate the horror MOOD. I find “fear” and “horror” to be unpleasant emotions, ones that I don’t want to experience in my enjoyment-media.

It makes finding stuff a bit challenging, let me tell you. So like, if you know anything that fits that bill, can you share it with me? (I’m already aware of @normal-horoscopes, and I’m familiar with Welcome To Night Vale.

I like stories with things that are weird, and unnatural, and dangerous in the same sense that a river or a fire is dangerous; it cares nothing for you and can destroy you, but it also has no malice and, once you know its nature, you can work with it more-or-less safely, so long as you never think yourself “safe”.

I like dark castles ruled by ominous and mysterious beings, and I especially love the various petty drama that happens between the monsters who work in said castles.

I like things that explore the realities and challenges of different forms of unlife, of being something changed and inhuman; but I don’t like things that delve too deep into “I’m having an existential crisis and all of my former friends now hate me”, that’s a completely DIFFERENT form of horror, one which I find deeply unappealing.