Everytime He Enters The Avengers Tower, Peter Quietly Sings To Himself, “Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated”

Everytime he enters the Avengers Tower, Peter quietly sings to himself, “Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated” and when they’re not around, he calls Tony “Heinz”, and Vision “Norm”.

Oh My God, They Were Roommates

corpse husband x fem! reader

summary: and they were roommates! oh my god, they were roommates

request: hi i really like your writing and was wondering if u could write for me :) if possible can u do one were u (fem) and corpse are roommates and u accidentally come into his room while streaming and everyone hear u so you stay and watch. people that he’s playing with and the stream see corpse act very sweet and soft to u. so know everyone is teasing him and he finally admits he has feelings for u on his stream. just a lot of fluff pls and thank u :))

warnings: cursing

word count: 812

Notes: This is proof read but I could have missed some stuff. I can’t believe I posted twice in a day. Although since its past midnight its techincally the next day, but I haven’t slept. Thank you for the request nonnie and I hope you all enjoy :)

Living with Corpse was fun. You guys were close friends when you were younger; you moved away but managed to stay friends. You spoke almost every day, and when he started his youtube channel you were one of the first people he told. You had been starting your first year as a middle school literature teacher and wanted to move back home. You didn’t think you’d get the job so you never made any living arrangements. Then the school hired you on short notice and you needed a place to live stat. Corpse was gracious enough and offered to be your roommate. It was supposed to be temporary but here you were almost a year later still living with him.

You didn’t want to move out anyway. You liked living with Corpse; there was never a dull moment with him. You would sit in on his streams and laugh along with him. You got to hear pre-release demos of his songs. You told him the latest insults your students would say to you because middle schoolers are brutal. You even loved more chill moments of editing and grading next to each other while eating takeout.

You were getting home late from a faculty meeting and walked into Corpse’s office. “Hey Corpse, you wanna order food tonight– aw shit,” you said. You didn’t know Corpse was streaming. He turned around to look at you; you looked like a deer in the headlights. You tried to back out slowly but he stopped you, “No Y/N come in it’s fine,” he said and laughed at your awkward demeanor. “Everyone, say hi to my roommate Y/N,” he said and disconnected his headphones. A series of hellos erupted from his computer’s speakers as the streamers on the other end greeted you excitedly. You walked up to his computer and noticed the chat speed past with a plethora of heys. “Y/N wanna say hi to the stream?” You nodded and got closer to the mic so it could properly pick up your voice.

Keep reading

1K notes View Post

a-bbles

1 week ago

The Babysitter | Robert 'Bob' Reynolds x fem!Reader | Chapter 1 - Sitters NYC

Summary: You didn’t have any superpowers, nor were you even qualified for the position, yet somehow a mishap between Alexei and Yelena ends up in getting you a new job. Bob-sitter.

Contents: No Y/N, fem!reader, college student!reader, no warnings apply for this chapter.

A/N: A multipart series?? From me?? who would've thought. We'll have to see where this goes and whether I'll keep it up lmao. Let me know what you think!

Read it on AO3 Chapter 2

1.9K words

Robert 'Bob' Reynolds, The Sentry or The Void played by Lewis Pullman in the Marvel movie Thunderbolts. GIF by mydearzero

“You said babysitter, I get a babysitter, problem solved!” Alexei exclaimed. The girl pinched the skin between her eyebrows, taking a few breaths before turning back to Alexei.

“I didn’t mean an actual babysitter! I meant a trained professional! Or at least someone with a background check.”

This had been going on for about 5 minutes, ever since you’d arrived at the penthouse of the rebranded Avenger’s Tower.

“Look, there’s clearly been a misunderstanding here. I can just, you know, leave,” you shrugged to the elevator, slowly picking your bag back up to leave.

“No, no! You don’t leave. Just wait here,” Alexei insisted. You put your bag back on the floor, unsure of what to do next.

You should’ve known as soon as the man contacted you through the Sitters NYC app that it was a bust. Who even has kids that need sitting in a place like this? You could still go back to Mrs. Lowinski, go back to cat-sitting the woman’s 17 Sphynx cats. But the lingering cat smell… Not to mention the fact that naked cats get their skin oils everywhere... No— this was a safe bet.

The duo argued some more before the girl, Lena?, turned to you with a sympathetic smile. “I’m sure you’re very nice and that my father offered you good money, but we had a bit of miscommunication about how to solve a problem. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay, really. Thanks for the generous offer, anyway, Alexei,” you thanked the man with a thin smile, once again picking up your damn bag and heading for the elevator.

Alexei yelled after you again to wait, but it was clear the man wouldn’t get his way, unfortunately for you. You gave him a sad wave and pressed the button for the elevator. As the doors opened, someone was about to step out when you were about to step inside. You did the awkward side-shuffle to get out of each other's way before he laughed and let you go first. You turned to stand facing the doors and caught a last glimpse of the man’s unruly brown hair before they closed.

✶

“Who was that?” Bob asked as the doors closed.

“Your babysitter, if it was up to Alexei. We’re trying to find a reliable person who can stay here with you when we go out on missions, but Alexei took it upon himself to get an actual babysitter. For kids. Or cats. Or birds, apparently,” Yelena sighed.

“You ask for trained professional with background check. We don’t even pass background check!” Alexei shouted. He did have a point, there.

Bob was about to argue he didn’t need a babysitter, but he probably actually did. He couldn’t be left alone with his thoughts for too long, or he’d spiral real fast. Not good.

“I mean, besides the company I really don’t think I need someone with much experience or training,” he shrugged.

“See! Bob agrees. Sitter is sitter,” Alexei grumbled.

“We’ll talk about this over dinner with the rest of the team,” Yelena spoke, and it was the final word.

✶

You walked out of the grocery store enlightened. That’s where you’d seen the father-daughter duo before. The Wheaties box. They were part of the so-called ‘New Avengers’. It had been a few months since The Blackout, but you remembered it well. One second you’d been filling the 17 food bowls in Mrs. Lowinski’s kitchen, the next you were back in your childhood home.

You unlocked the front door and loaded your groceries in the cabinets and fridge. You sighed as you sat down on the couch, ready to call Mrs. Lowinski for your job back and to get back on Sitters NYC for more part-time work you could combine with your online classes.

Manhattan - Full-time 3 Children, aged 4, 6 & 9

Brooklyn - Part-time 4 Dogs

Queens - Au Pair 2 Children, aged 5 & 7 1 Cat

Manhattan - Part-time 3 Birds 1 Dog

Manhattan - Part-time 1 Child, age UNDISCLOSED

Ah, Alexei hadn’t taken the ad down yet. He’d been so nice, too. From what he’d described, you figured it was an older child, possibly a teenager, even, who needed someone to spend some time with every now and then. Not allowed to go out by themselves too much, irregular schedule, possible overnight stays. Nothing you couldn’t handle. Too bad it had been a misunderstanding.

You walked into the kitchen and got ready to prepare dinner for one, again. One day you might put yourself out there. ‘Find someone real nice to take care of you,’ as Mrs. Lowinski had insisted. God, you had really spent too much time with the elderly woman.

✶

“It really doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” Ava spoke as she munched on some broccoli.

“It’s not a bad idea, per se, it’s more that there’s factors we need to account for that Alexei overlooked. Like the fact that Bob is essentially a weapon that could be taken advantage of by the wrong person if we let them get too close,” Yelena had a point.

“I’m not that naive…” Bob chimed in, but everybody knew he was easily influenced. Not to mention he couldn’t control The Void, and where The Sentry was, The Void followed. They couldn’t risk it.

“I ran a background check, she’s just a college student. We can try it out with the next mission and see if Bob likes her. That’s the most important part, after all,” John argued. He grabbed the pot of potatoes and loaded a pile onto his plate, never satiated.

“Bob, be like John, eat loads of potatoes. Good for strength,” Alexei’s mouth was full as he spoke. Bob gave him a small smile in acknowledgement, raising his fork which had a potato on it.

“What does Bucky think?” Ava asked. The man rarely joined them for dinner, usually ‘too busy.’

“Haven’t spoken with him about it yet. I’ll call him after dinner to discuss. We need something if we’re gonna be as busy as Valentina is implying we’ll be,” Yelena sighed, stuffing her mouth with chicken.

“Bob, can you pass me the salt?” She asked, mouth full. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

They finished dinner and Bob went to clean up as usual while Yelena called Bucky on speakerphone, still at the dining table.

“I mean if she passed a background check I see no issue with at least trying it out. It’s not like we have many other options. He doesn’t need an actual caretaker. At least she’s somewhat his age, right? Maybe a little younger?” Bucky’s voice boomed from the phone and filled the room. The man was so up to date with technology, yet was still convinced he needed to talk louder if he was on speaker.

“I guess. I’ll have Alexei call her back. But it’s NOT my fault if this all goes wrong!” Yelena made it very clear. She was not about to be blamed if this ended in disaster. Best possible outcome; the girl did fine, blended in and spent time with Bob. Worst possible outcome? Who knows.

✶

”Are you really sure this time?” You asked Alexei over the phone. You’d been down this road with him before.

“Yes, Yelena asked me to call you herself. You come by tonight to meet the team and meet Bob. Will be fun!”

“Alright, I’ll be there by 9,” you confirmed. Who named their child Bob in this day and age?

“See you at 9!” Alexei boasted. The man hung up and you stared at your phone bewildered. He better be right. You better not be going back there for nothing again.

If you wanted to be on time, you’d have to leave soon. You put your shoes back on, grabbed your headphones and bag and ran back out the door. You locked it behind you and sped down the stairs of your building.

You walked to the subway station and put your earbuds in. Luckily the tower was only a few stops away, or this whole ordeal might’ve been more of a nuisance. The lights flickered irregularly as the metrocar shook through the underground. It seemed as though it was having more trouble than usual, but your trip was short, it didn’t matter as long as you got to your destination.

The car shook some more as you got off, but it was no longer of any worry. You ran up the stairs of the station and were once again met directly with the entrance to the tower, the second time today.

You walked back in and pressed the button for the elevator to come down. You sighed and got on, pressing the button for the penthouse and waited for the doors to close. The last thing you saw before they closed was the glass entrance of the tower being shattered. You flinched on instinct, but the elevator was already taking you up and away from the danger. Your heart thrummed in your chest. Was it just an accident, or was something bigger going on?

Your question was soon answered by an announcement over the intercom. Everybody below the top twenty floors had to evacuate the building. Not you, then. Still, you were worried.

The elevator came to a halt at the penthouse, doors sliding open agonizingly slow. You were met with a ruckus of people walking around yelling at each other.

“Babysitter is here!” Alexei yelled as he tugged a red mask over his face.

“Well that’s great timing, I guess,” Yelena spoke as she sheathed a few knives. She turned to look at you.

“Bob is in the kitchen. You just need to keep him company for now while we go deal with whatever is going on on the street. We’ll explain everything when we get back. Whatever you do, try to keep him happy, distracted and away from danger. If anything happens to him, your funeral.” The instructions (and threat) were clear.

Several people with an assortment of weapons bustled around you as you found your way to the kitchen. You looked around for a child, but there didn’t seem to be one in here. The only person you found was the guy you saw getting off the elevator earlier today, with the comfy outfit and tousled hair. He was seated at the breakfast island, watching as the others got ready for what you assumed would be quite the fight.

“Uh, hi?” It came out as a question unintentionally. He turned to you, your first time catching a good look at his face.

“Oh! Hi, uhm, you must be the, uh, sitter?” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. You nodded, putting your bag on the counter and looking him over. You looked around again, no child or teen in sight.

“Aren’t you supposed to be, like, getting ready for battle?” You mimicked a fighting pose. He chuckled and shook his head.

“No, it’s usually best to keep me as far away from those kinds of situations as possible…” He looked away, obviously not proud of the fact.

You sought out eye contact and reached out your hand. He looked at it before looking back to your eyes, tentatively reaching out. You introduced yourself and stretched your hand out further, encouraging him to take it. He was like a skittish kitten.

“I’m Bob,” was all you heard before your vision was delved in black and you returned to a memory from a past life left behind.

CHAPTER 2

972 notes View Post

a-bbles

3 years ago