Also. Watched Some Of The New Wot Earlier And It Really Is Wild To Like. Find Something Visually And

nefret cat hopped up to sprawl very adorably and affectingly in my lap (just, of course, as i'd been contemplating getting up) and it's just precisely warm enough today that my feet were bare but also tucked up against my thighs to keep them cozy, which has resulted in the extremely luxurious sensation of 'fur against exposed ankles' 👍

The Crown (Diu Crône) by Heinrich von dem Türlin translated by J. W. Thomas

Daniel von dem Blühenden Tal translated by Michael Resler

Erec by Hartmann von Aue translated by Cyril Edwards

Iwein Knight with the Lion by Hartmann von Aue translated by Cyril Edwards

Lanzelet by Ulrich von Zatzikhoven translated by Thomas Kerth

Parzival by Wolfram von Eschenbach translated by Jessie Weston

Parzival by Wolfram von Eschenbach translated by Edwin Zeydel

Tristan and Iseult Vol. I by Gottfriend von Straßberg translated by Jessie Weston

Tristan and Iseult Vol. II by Gottfriend von Straßberg translated by Jessie Weston

Wigalois Knight of Fortune’s Wheel by Wirnt von Grafenberg translated by J. W. Thomas

Wigalois Knight of Fortune’s Wheel by Wirnt von Grafenberg (in German)

Wigamur translated by Joseph M. Sullivan

sketchbook page of european badger

genuinely wild how often i realize i’ve taken an interpersonal situation where the information i actually have is ‘i’m not having a good time’ and turned it into ‘i’m worried they’re not having a good time with me’

probably ultimately very straightforwardly traceable back to a childhood in which i wasn’t having a good time with my mother and the only variable in the situation that i actually had the power to alter was myself, so that now when as an adult i’m having a bad time with someone my instinct is still to fix myself instead of, you know, removing myself? or alternatively checking in with them about how things are feeling to them and attempting to arrive at a meeting of the minds, or at least a mutually semi-satisfactory compromise?

anyway like. this failure mode probably implies a particular menu of followup actions that i ought to be identifying and instituting, but i’d frankly settle for just ‘recognizing this particular self-abnegating reframing when i’m in the process of committing it’!

the problem, of course, is that i very badly wanted a clean slate on here, because the old one had started to feel very fraught for a number of reasons; but having now acquired one, the loneliness of it (don't get me wrong, i'm very grateful for those of you who are here! but there aren't very many of you, and i've been keeping very bad hours and doing very spotty blogging, so it's been a fairly minimally-interactive* experience so far…) is only underscoring why i clung onto so many uncongenial connections for so long: when the options are 'remain in an environment that's stimulating you but also making you crazy,' or 'take action to create a new environment that's painfully understimulating (which, by the way, makes you differently crazy!),' it's not so clear-cut which of the (we)evils is ultimately the lesser…

wait my range of motion in the shoulder that just. decided to be fucked up for no apparent reason, uh, years ago now is like. suddenly radically better than the last time i checked???? like i can actually reach up more or less symmetrically right now???

anyway fully braced for this to promptly become untrue again, i don’t trust like that anymore, but. sheenagh pugh sometimes emoji??

thinking abt like. [unfortunately?] i'm really not immune to the thing where somebody does something that bugs you and then you find out they have Condition That Makes Them Do Things That Bug You and you feel more forgiving about it even though like. technically what information do you have that you didn't have before…

Black Sun (1) - Denmark/Germany, 2025

Last Saturday, I had the chance to see the natural phenomenon known in Denmark as "Sort Sol" (Danish for "Black Sun"). Thousands of starlings flock together to create swirling patterns across the sky. This happened right after the sunset in the cold and windy marshes around the border of Denmark and Germany.

The starlings were quite far away from us and stayed low on the sky, flying just above the marshes. Hopefully next time, they will rise higher into the air, so there will a better separation between the starlings and the ground.

new set of prints!! these will be available at the Bainbridge Island Museum of Art's Dog Ear Festival this upcoming weekend (april 4-6) as part of the pop-up print market. i myself will not be at the festival but the slate of events looks soooo cool and i love BIMA, highly recommend checking it out!

i was like well i could ""compose a post"" or i could just. mine the way i explained this in chat the other day for parts—

anyway all this [trying to work out a congenial set of blogs to follow] has me thinking back to when i made a friend in my german reading class and was like 'oh right actually sometimes you meet people and it immediately feels good and easy and safe and fun. forgot that was how it was supposed to work!' bc unfortunately the reality is that as a now–chronically isolated misfit i'm strongly motivated to try and convince myself i could like people even when. we aren't actually compatible.

bc the thing is, it turns out that not feeling like you're part of either mainstream gender club is: really fucking lonely! bc you just feel constantly like. wow insane gender coercion is happening all around me constantly and it makes me angry and scared and i don’t know how not to vent incredulously about it but i'm also acutely aware that becoming someone who can't shut up abt their gender alienation is a great way to come off as a bore and (pun not intended) a drag…

not to mention that like. people are basically only nice to me when they girlbox me so like. i need it and hate it and feel guilty abt it!