Would You Still Love Me If I Was Rendered In Increasingly Abstract Ways To Imply My Progressing Sense

Oooo I like this one! Red vibes.

punish me for growling, and you won’t get a chance to back off before I bite.

ok so i need to know now - sound off in the notes if Jarlaxle has been banned from your Waterdeep tavern

When you finally find out about your ADHD.

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

One minute I think I’ve finally gotten this whole kitchen safely thing figured out and the next I’m staring down the barrel of a meter-high fountain of butter chicken sauce.

i was inspired by this post to mash two of my favorite things together so here is my two cents on what these two would be as D&D characters. i have very detailed thoughts on most of the cast actually but here's jon and martin for now. explanations for class/race under the cut!

jon: tiefling!jon is absolutely inspired. first, he deserves to have horns and a tail, it's just fact. second, of COURSE a tiefling would have feelings about being called a monster, it just fits him very well. thirdly, i also think that melanie would be a tiefling and they definitely have weird beef about jon being like "augh i'm so monstrous" while melanie is like "dude i'm literally right here, also a tiefling. come on, man." as for class, stated above. started as a goolock who thought he was just a weird wizard, but then his patron started taking a bit too much interest, and boom. weird sorcerer. also it amuses me to think about jonah/elias being like "i need to optimize my coffeelock" and trying to minmax him.

martin: human martin is important to me - he is intentionally unassuming, tries to make others underestimate him, etc, and human works well for that. in a world with gods and dragons, he's just Some Guy, and not even a guy with horns or anything. as for class, hear me out, ok. i know that bard!martin is usually the standard and i don't disagree, but i think he fits better as a paladin for 3 reasons: 1. charisma caster for sure, but he's not always volunteering to do the talking like a bard would. 2. for most of the series, he is a very intentional Protector of his people, trying to keep everyone safe as best he can - there's really nothing more paladin-coded than being self-sacrificial ok. definitely has the protection fighting style. 3. i think he deserves to have a big sword and smite people. as stated above, he was originally oath of devotion but switched to oath of the watchers after peter. oath of devotion focuses more on healing and buffing allies, while oath of the watchers is more about preparation and battlefield control, which feels more proactive in a way that i think lines up with post-lonely martin. also, it's on theme.

thanks for reading my ramble! let me know your thoughts. i will probably be making more of these (i may or may not already have dummy character sheets for jon, martin, elias, gertrude, tim, sasha, daisy, basira, melanie and georgie...) but i can't promise anything. cheers.

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

Oh No

I bet discord put that there.