This Joke Came To Me In A Fit Of Laughter (ALT Description Provided :3!)

I have become a regular at the local cafe. I sit at the lunch counter with my laptop to write. The workers keep me updated on all the tea.

Barista: Oh god here he comes.

Me: who?

Barista: White Ferrari guy. Hes banned from the other cafe. All he ever does is tell the same stories about the pyramids. Or ghosts. Or his car. Don't make eye contact with him. If he talks to you he won't leave you alone- Hi hello welcome!

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spawn is pretty neat. right close by you have this little lake which is just. ough.

if you want to build a mob farm you can do that right quick

bro what are u doing

and finally. badlands mineshaft in a big cave. neat!

Bilbo was declared dead while he was away in the Hobbit (and had to do a bunch of paperwork to get declared alive again) but there’s no indication he was formally declared dead after leaving the Shire, even though most people assumed he had died.

Therefore I posit: having a missing person declared dead in the Shire requires the consent of their next of kin. Whoever Bilbo’s next of kin was at the time of the Hobbit (possibly Otho? I’m not sure) had him declared dead at the first opportunity but Frodo refused to ever do it.

Frodo had anxious hobbit bureaucrats knocking on his door every couple of years like ‘Mr Baggins… blease… it’s been 10 years… he was eleventy-one… can we fill out his death certificate yet’ and Frodo was like ‘absolutely not’.

Early on he genuinely couldn’t bring himself too but after a while it was more that he enjoyed irritating the local magistrate’s office than anything else.

Chai tea bag + lil but of brown sugar + apple cider packet + 16 oz. mug of hot but not quite boiling water

it will not Fix You but like. maybe. maybe.

"the shadow people come by every once in a while"

(my minecraft + mcyt tag)

1. I will not eat raw fish. Everything else is fine. I will unflinchingly consume a bag full of mealworms (and have in the past) but I don't do raw fish.

I’m at 5 what about you?

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if I wrote a dystopian novel where the corrupt evil megacorporation that controls society has a fucking smirk for a logo, my editor would tell me to use a less heavy-handed metaphor

Wizard fisherman

WHAT!!!!

so I guess they’re making Project Hail Mary into a movie and I for one am cautiously stoked to see how they try to translate Rocky, the dog-sized space spider who wears overalls and regularly does jazz-hands, from page to screen without it looking absolutely fucking bonkers