Would You Know Of Like. Hobbies To Start/things To Do That Don't Require Any Physical Objects Or Money,

Based

[Edit: pirate it here! It's on me. _*DOWNLOAD*_ ]

[Edit 2: this isn't the new edition, Pristine Cut or whatever]

Howdy newbies and welcome to Tumblr, it takes a bit of setup to get this site running well so here’s what works for me. One of the neat things about this site is that its a different experience for everyone, so tailor these settings towards what you want from this site. 

New XKit 

Happy Pride!

I saw this tumblr post and HAD to draw it, please accept my humble A:TLA offering.

Stuck at home? Here’s an isolation survival post:

(Everything here is free to use! Feel free to add on. Links were purposefully broken to avoid Tumblr’s spam prevention.)

Social:

discordapp.com/ - Like Skype but better, more accessible, smoother, and with more features. Call, play games, and chat with friends.

twitch.tv/ - Watch and chat with people doing everything from gaming to cooking to teaching.

Reading:

whichbook.net/ - helps you find what book to read

overdrive.com/ - Free audiobooks through your public library

standardebooks.org/ebooks/ - Free ebooks

rbdigital.com/ - Free audiobooks and ebooks through your public library

Movies:

www.kanopy.com/ - Free movies through your public library

www.ted.com/ - Watch lots of educational and inspiring talks

Hobbies:

join.skillshare.com/ - Learn how to do virtually anything with 2 free months of premium

scratch.mit.edu/ - Make a game or movie, super easy to use, good introductory programming “language”

gimp.org/downloads/ - Free photoshop-like program.

twinery.org/ - Make a text-based game

pixologic.com/sculptris/ - make 3D models

unity.com/ - Make a 3D game

yoyogames.com/gamemaker - make a 2D game

spotify.com/us/ - Listen to music

travelandleisure.com/attractions/museums-galleries/museums-with-virtual-tours - Museums with virtual tours

Dungeons and Dragons: (play over Discord!) (DM me if you want PDFs of the Handbooks)

probablybadrpgideas.tumblr.com/post/612459866001391616/basic-rules-for-dungeons-dragons-dungeons - The Basics

entertainment.howstuffworks.com/leisure/brain-games/beginners-guide-dungeons-and-dragons.htm - Learn to play

roll20.net/ - Make maps/play online

Video Games:

itch.io/ - play hundreds of games

freegameplanet.com/ - Even more free games!

dolphin-emu.org/ - Play Gamecube and Wii games

Phone Apps:

sourceforge.net/projects/gameboid/ - Play gameboy games

smartphones.gadgethacks.com/how-to/10-must-play-free-puzzle-games-for-iphone-android-0178848/ - list of puzzle games

Cooking:

fridgetotable.com/ - Input ingredients you have and get recipes you can make.

youtube.com/user/DepressionCooking - Learn how to cook with limited ingredients from a lovely old woman who lived during the Great Depression

butterwithasideofbread.com/homemade-bread/ - Make bread with yeast

letsdishrecipes.com/traditional-irish-soda-bread/ - Make bread without yeast

Other tips:

Take care of yourself (eat well, shower often, wear clean clothes, exercise, clean your space)

Talk with people

Do what makes you happy

Take time away from screens

Play – with your pets, your kids, your friends. Keep yourself active and busy and happy.

Gods & Monsters Series in Chronological Order

10000 likes!

Have you ever been to earth?

On earth, we use the word “burrito” to describe a tortilla filled with things you eat. Pretty simple stuff, and I’m surprised you at least got that part right. My burrito was, in fact, filled with food. In this, you and I agree and are friends. But this is also where my lifelong hatred begins for you and anyone else whose brain has been repeatedly scrubbed with the same mixture of bleach and Pop Rocks as yours has. Because that should have killed you, but left you around long enough to do what you did to me today. Let me explain:

You’re an idiot.

Let me further explain:

Burritos are eaten from one end to the other. So that means when you assemble a burrito with motherfucking ZONES of ingredients going that direction, you create a disgusting experience for the burrito’s end user. When you make a burrito, you should put the ingredients in layerslengthwise. That way, every bite has AT LEAST A FUCKING CHANCE of getting at least two types of ingredients, and there is little chance of becoming almost hopelessly trapped in a goddamned cilantro cavern.

Have you ever eaten one of the things you make all fucking day? You should try one. They are pretty good WHEN YOU ARE NOT WILLING YOURSELF THROUGH THE FUCKING EMPIRE OF SOUR CREAM ONLY TO END UP IN LETTUCE COUNTRY.

When you eat a burrito, you don’t stand it up and bite down on it lengthwise like a fucking Rancor. Humans can’t usually dislocate their jaws, and I’m not a fucking pelican. But you must think that’s how it’s done, since that would be THE ONLY FUCKING WAY to take a bite of your crapstrosity and have it taste like a burrito.

And guess what else, player? You probably can’t guess anything, because I’m pretty sure you’re just a mop with a hat on it that fell over and spilled some shit into a tortilla, but just in case, here’s what:

Humans also don’t eat burritos like fucking corn on the cob. Like a fucking typewriter from one end to the other a little at a time and then DING next line. But today I wish I had tried that. Because at least THEN I would be able to eat some rice, then beans, then be all like HEY BEANS I’LL BE RIGHT BACK JUST GOING OVER HERE TO THE GUACAMOLE FOR A SECOND.

Nope.

My experience was more like HEY BEANS IT’S JUST GOING TO BE YOU AND I FOR A MINUTE UNTIL I CAN FUCKING EXCAVATE THE RICE FROM BENEATH YOU BUT BY THEN YOU WILL BE A FADING MEMORY OH HEY I WAS WRONG I’M IN THE FUCKING CHEESEOSPHERE NOW RICE MUST BE NEXT I HOPE IT’S NOT ANOTHER FUCKING SALSA POCKET.

You built this thing like a fucking pack of LifeSavers.

And don’t even fucking think I’m about to open this shit up and re-engineer your nonsense 90 degrees. I ALREADY PUT A HOLE IN IT WITH MY FUCKING MOUTH. YEAH. THAT’S HOW I DISCOVERED YOU FUCKING SUCK AT LOOKING AT THINGS. I AM NOT GOING TO DO FUCKING TORTILLA ORIGAMI TO GET THIS SHIT BACK TOGETHER, ONLY TO END UP WITH A BURRITO THAT’S BEEN SHOT IN THE GUT AND IS BLEEDING YOUR INEPTITUDE.

What’s that? I should ask you to mix it up first next time? IS THIS JAMBA JUICE? I DON’T WANT TO DRINK MY FUCKING BURRITO THROUGH A BENDY STRAW, AND I DON’T WANT A PILE OF BURRITO SOUP IN A FLOUR CAN.

I just want a burrito.

In conclusion:

You’re the worst thing that has ever happened to the universe, you owe everyone everywhere an apology for this burritobomination, and I hope your babies look like monkeys.

UPDATE FOR EVERYONE WHO SAID “JUST EAT IT WITH A FORK”:

A fucking fork?

I DIDN’T ORDER THE FUCKING COBBURRITO SALAD.

If anyone ever handed me a burrito with a fork, THEY WOULD BE WEARING A BRAND NEW BURRITO HAT FROM MY FALL COLLECTION TEN SECONDS LATER.

That’s like buying a car and having them hand you a fucking wrench with the keys. Like YEAH WE KNOW THIS MOTHERFUCKER’S GOING TO EXPLODE AND BE SPREAD ACROSS EIGHT LANES AS SOON AS YOU HIT THE GAS, BUT SHIT, WE GAVE YOU A WRENCH, SO BE COOL.

Jesus already gave me two burrito forks. One at the end of each arm. They’re called fucking HANDS.

A fork. My god. I haven’t cried since I was six, but I’m fucking sobbing now.

People eat burritos with forks?

God is sorry he made us.

(Source)

This story means so much to me. It documents my depression over the last four years. So much of myself and my own struggle is in here. I dedicate it to my husband and to all the amazing women who loved me before I could love at all. Thank you again to @cordria for unwavering support. Thank you so much to everyone who followed along and encouraged me. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. You have no idea how much of a difference a review or an ask can make in someone’s life. Speaking from experience- I reread the support in some of my darkest moments to remind myself of my strengths. A little humankindness grows and spreads and lasts forever. I am bittersweet that this story has reached it’s end, but it feels right as my own path towards healing has taken a different route than Sam’s.

I will be publishing this story along with artwork. Please message me on my tumblr if you are interested in buying a copy.

Love, light, healing to all.

Shayne (Leda)