203 posts
Latest Posts by 0ddjangles - Page 2
"empowering women by sending katy perry to space for 2 minutes" shut the fuck up. samantha cristoforetti was the first female commander of the international space station and she became an astronaut because of star trek. and there is a real chance she is a kirk/spock shipper
If you want to lament, click on the "Lament" tab. Customize your wailing, writhing, and babbling, to make each lamentation a unique experience.
One of my favorite genres of post
Right click -> save as -> ancient curse
I am frequently cursed and compelled by the goblin urge to dismantle things. Fucking love taking things apart. Get unmade, idiot.
yeah golden retreiver boyfriends are great and I've met several personally, but personally I have a house cat boyfriend
extremely affectionate despite of seeming aloof and politely distant to unfamiliar people
my friends have seen him irl less than 5 times in the five years I've had him - if I invited people over he would hide under furniture until they're gone
haha you got up from your work desk, time for unskippable 35 minutes of kisses and cuddles
can and will throw up out of sheer anxiety because Things And Events Are Happening that do not even involve him in any way
can instinctively sense exactly when I am going to decide I'm done bedrotting and will climb on top of me to cuddle exactly 3 minutes before I was just about to get up
can be placed sideways on any soft surface at any time of the day and immediately takes a five hour nap
cannot eat or drink in unfamilair places. can and will go 16 hours without food or water if the situation is uncomfy.
unhelpful but valiant efforts to try to protect and rescue you from things and situations that he would personally hate being in, out of not understanding of Why Are You In There Voluntarily
will come show me incomprehensible memes the same way a cat will bring you a random bug. thank you. I do not understand it but I know you brought it to me because you love me.
Oooo that's a good idea
I AM SCREECHING AMAZON PRIME/PARAMOUNT+ KEEPS FLASHING THIS SPLIT SECOND CLIP OF A PEPPERONI PIZZA FROM LITTLE CAESAR'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS SCENE 😆😭🤣💀
Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
People are allowed to be wrong about you
If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
Most things are better after you sleep on them
Most things are better after you have a meal
Most things are better after you shower
Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
No one cares what you look like
If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
bastard sounds great in an irish accent. if an irish person calls you a 'daft bastard' it just feels right
the welsh have the monopoly on things ending in hell. fuckin hell and bloody hell hit different in a welsh accent. its like music to my ears
the scots have piss and shite for sure. "its pishin it doon out there" "this is a load of shite" absolute poetry
if i may speak for the english i think we do penis related words very well. dickhead, knobhead, twat, etc.
and for all the shit we give them, you gotta admit that no one can deliver a 'goddamn' quite like an american. theres a certain weight to it that you just cant achieve in other accents. when an american says goddamn you know shit just got real
For all you know, I might be a completely fictitious personality, composed by a group of five weird nerds who take turns posting their own unhinged bullshit on the same blog.
reverse suicide note where everyone you write on it dies
ID credit: 5416025956 on 小红书
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Agates carved into orange slices by wutong_crystal_carvings.
Source: x
I don't know why people don't seem aware of this, but going out of your way to step in and say "this does not apply to me because I am not part of this conversation :)" does not contribute to the conversation. If you're aware that you have nothing to do with this subject, you are allowed to just skip it. It's always morally correct to not step into something that doesn't involve you just to announce that it doesn't involve you.
"I don't need this advice for how to avoid contaminated meat because I'm vegan :)" that's nice dear. This information has nothing to do with what we were talking about and brings nothing of value to the conversation.
"I don't need this advice for how to stay safe in these spaces because I don't go to those places :)" that's nice dear. This information has nothing to do with what we were talking about and brings nothing of value to the conversation.
"I don't need to pay attention to these culturally gendered red flags because I don't date that gender :)" that's nice dear. This information has nothing to do with what we were talking about and brings nothing of value to the conversation.
"I already avoided this fun but risky activity because I didn't like doing it in the first place :)" that's nice dear. This information has nothing to do with what we were talking about and brings nothing of value to the conversation.
You don't need to announce that some situation, post, or piece of advice doesn't apply to you. Your perspective on such matters is not valuable.
Honestly bizarre that tomatoes get all the flack for “not being a vegetable” because they're technically a fruit when:
A) There are a ton of fruits that get categorised as vegetables. Like this also applies to pumpkins, squashes and cucumbers.
B) The fucking mushrooms are standing there at the back of the crowd in this witch trial, trying to look inconspicuous because they somehow got into the vegetable club with no fucking controversy despite the fact that they're not even plants.
Goths aren't "true to seed" in the sense that the biological offspring of two goths do not necessarily grow up to be goth, though inheriting the inclination for it from both parents increases the odds significantly. That is not how goths naturally reproduce.
The process is actually quite sophisticated, and requires the presence of a full-grown goth to trigger it. A pupal-stage proto-goth, at this point completely indistinguishable from any other small human child, only needs to encounter a mature specimen once - and while the initial imprinting that ensues will only take seconds, the incubation period often takes more than a decade, even several.
The first visible step of the transformation is triggered when the dormant goth suddenly gains awareness that they have free will and can do whatever they want with their appearance. While the progress may be gradual, or seem like the transformation happened all at once overnight, the initial seed was planted years ago. And now, in full bloom, a fully-fledged mature adult goth may finally be happy.
And that's why it's important to sometimes look goth as fuck in the grocery store. You might be seen by small child who had previously hoped to die before adulthood because everything they've heard about becoming a grownup is just pure misery, who will then consequently think to themselves "actually nevermind, that's what I want to be when I grow up."
do you hate the French as much as I do?
Woah mama I don't hate anyone except wizards
my biggest enemy in any video game: full inventory
HEY
WAIT
STOP SCROLLING !!!!
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hello! i am crumb cat!
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Next time you're around when the mail gets delivered, ask your delivery person if they're understaffed or not.
But don't hold them up too much, they have a lot of work to do.
congratulations! your reincarnation status has been upgraded from COCKROACH to SEAGULL
We literally just found life on another planet and everybody is just like "and?" Life on earth so wild rn we don't even care 💀💀